1. I do not typically watch Dancing With The Stars

2. I think the show objectifies both men and women – to some degree – and most of the outfits they wear should be illegal (and are, almost everywhere in the Middle East!)

3. I am taking no position on whether or not Bristol Palin can dance, whether or not she should ‘be there’ with Kurt Warner or Brandy gone, and in this note, I’m taking no comments on Bristol’s famous mother.

Here’s what really hacked me off on this show. First, Bristol has gotten snail mail with white powder, comments about her thighs, dancing like ‘an elephant on crack’, and death threats. DEATH THREATS!!! Seriously people, stop shooting your TV, put down the Marlboro and the coffee and go RELAX somewhere; it’s a SHOW. Second, Bristol, through one choice of her own and several by her mother, is destined to be stalked and to live in her mother’s shadow for life, and that’s sad. She’s a woman in her own right, a beautiful person, and has had to weather an incredible storm of hatred, brought on not by the show itself, but through a proxy battle of conservatives and liberals with all the vitriol you’d expect as a result. Finally, she’s on the show and she’s started to listen to the comments and read her own press; and it’s starting to hurt her heart. Today, during the comments after the second dance, she said something like, “..I know I needed come out and be a sexy girl, but I’m just not a sexy girl“.

WHAT!?!? This 20 year-old single mother is more woman than most women will ever be. She has lived to the limit of happiness and grief, she has endured, and she carries herself well; regardless the criticism. NO woman should be made to believe that she “isn’t sexy” by people with shriveled hearts, jaundiced eyes, and evil on their mind.

Men, I challenge you to treat your wives with respect, cherish them, and make them feel like queens. Make them feel “sexy”. For your daughters, please teach them what to demand from a man, teach them what godly attraction looks like, and PLEASE teach them that they are beautiful women; inside and out!

Technorati Tags: bristol, dwts, palin, sexy

First let me say that I understand that their tagline does not imply an ‘across the board’ use of everything that comes into the home, but it does imply that we should deny ourselves nothing and pour everything into our homes that our hearts might desire. Think of all the knowledge you might have if you ‘let it all in’ and think of how much you’ll be entertained as well!I’d like to look at this from our perspective (self-health and God-focus), rather than from an external perspective (regulation and media industry). Let’s look in the mirror, not out the window. Should we trust “our hearts desire” when choosing what to consume? Should we filter anything that comes into our home, or view it all and then ‘choose what to remember’? Should we spend much of our time taking information into our minds, so that we can be informed?

Our Hearts

Our first step is to examine our hearts. This is an excellent approach each time we begin to look at a situation or decision as our internal motivations color – in a very real way – how we perceive a decision. The Bible says that, “..out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Since we see and hear so many horrible things coming out of people’s mouths (and our own), it seems reasonable to conclude that our hearts are not 100% clean and trustworthy. In addition, Scripture says, “..the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jer 17:9) and this tendency toward self-deception certainly raises its ugly head when we start looking carefully at what we are thinking and doing, doesn’t it? Don’t you find yourself rationalizing a TV show, news story, or movie with thoughts like, “..it has some good things in it”, or, “..the information I’m getting from it is substantially weightier than the fact there is some skin in it”? Many Christians argue that – once saved – the Holy Spirit causes us to desire only the things of God, and therefore if we have a desire for a thing after salvation, that it must be from the Lord. The clear theological ‘miss’ aside, let’s look at the apostle Paul’s words when he says, “..fight the good fight of the faith”, “..put on the full armor of God”, and finally, “..I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand”. Paul goes on to say that he desires to do right “in his inner being”, but that sin is in his flesh and he sins even when he doesn’t “want to”. (1 Tim 6:12, Eph 6:11, and Rom 7:21)

It is clear that our hearts – even hearts regenerated by the Holy Spirit – are insufficient as a sole arbiter of what we should think, say, and do; but what does this have to do with what we “take into” ourselves?

Filter

Why can’t we just view and listen to what we want, and then ‘throw away’ the learnings we don’t want? Aside from Paul’s words on the idea that we will keep some things our “inner being” desires not to, what we watch and hear changes who we are; it changes our heart. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Can you view and hear things without them changing you? If so, how is it that movies like Gladiator, Braveheart, and even Top Gun get our male aggression and leadership ‘blood’ moving? We are very emotionally moved by what we see and hear. Many studies have been done on the effects of sight and sound on the human brain and all of them conclusively show that what we take in via our senses deeply affects our minds. Job talked about his issues with beautiful women and the sight of them in Job 31:1 when he states that he had made a, “..pact with his eyes, not to look upon another woman”. Job knew that the right time to stop a thought from taking shape was before the stimulus reacher his brain. Keep out those things that darken your mind. Don’t even look at them at all!

Why shouldn’t we listen or see things that are not good for us? Because they will desensitize us to the things of God, those things that we need to reach closer to Him; those things that are of eternal value. In Acts 28:27 Paul is talking about the Jews to whom he’d preached and asserts that their hearts had been calloused.. and by whom? By years of listening to the Pharisees and their religion that replaced God and a relationship with him, these Jews had stopped listening to the inner voice of the Spirit and could no longer accept the teaching of Christ crucified. In that same way, our hearts will be calloused by years of listening to and watching things that are not Godly. God has not commanded us to “..listen to your iPod while exercising, the TV while eating, the radio while driving, all three while doing homework, and know that I am God”. What has His command been instead? To drive these things away from ourselves and keep nothing between us. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10). Note that our understanding of God’s place in the universe is preceded by our shutting out other influences.

Informed

Oh, we love to “know stuff” don’t we? It’s not wrong to seek knowledge, but it is how we do it and for what reasons we do it that are important. Knowing what the scores are, who died on your favorite soap, and who got ‘voted off the island’ are not incredibly meaningful in the eternal scheme of things! (There are many who would argue that they aren’t even important in the earthly scheme of things).

I’d like to suggest that while being informed is important, that God intends for us something far more meaningful, amazing, and useful than consuming media to be informed. He intends for us to take Him in so that we will be transformed. In Romans 12:2 Paul exhorts the brothers and sisters not to conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds! Huge application here, and the immediate question, “How do we renew our minds”? Paul answers this in the preceding verse by saying, “offer yourselves as a living sacrifice”. How do we do this today? By having a focus on Christ before ourselves, taking every thought captive (2 Cor 10:5), and by replacing thoughts of the world with thoughts of Christ. Paul says to the Corinthian church in 2 Cor 3:18, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit”. Looking at Christ, and walking toward Him is what keeps us on the path, with the continued ability to hear His voice.

Men, I challenge you today; each podcast you save, each radio broadcast you hear, every TV show and movie you watch, before you begin, read Phil 4:8 and only proceed if the media matches that description. Each time the media does not, substitute God’s word (in book or sound) and let me know if after a week you can feel a transformation taking place.

Do it, I dare you!

I posed a hypothetical question to my son the other day, to his ever-growing amusement. I asked him, “RJ, what would happen if I told you to go upstairs and clean your room, and you disappeared and returned in 90 minutes and sat on the couch to read a book, without having cleaned it? What would I do if I asked you what was going on and you said that you memorized what I said, and then went back to reading”? My son, laughing now, said that I would likely think he was being a wise guy. I asked, “What if I told you to go clean it again, and you disappeared again, return in 30 minutes, and the room still wasn’t clean? This time when I ask about the room, you tell me that you’ve invited three friends over to have a Bible study – in the dirty room – to discuss what it might look like if you cleaned it”? RJ laughed and said, “I wouldn’t dare do that Dad”!

Wouldn’t dare indeed. Isn’t this what we often do with what God has told us? …We pray, begging the Lord to show us His face, to reveal His specific will for our lives – and that’s good – but don’t you think that He sometimes looks down and says, “Your knowledge already far outpaces your obedience. I have given you my Word, and you cannot follow it; what more should I tell you now”? We are to be “doers” of the Word, and not hearers only. The “one anothers” of Scripture demand relationships and “action”. Each “one another” is preceded by a verb. Now I was never good at English, but I think verbs imply action on the part of the subject of the sentence. Each of the “one anothers” has YOU implied as the subject. YOU, love one another. YOU, bear one another’s burdens”. I challenge us today to be active in our faith. Exercise the “one another’s” in Scripture, and do what the Lord has instructed.

I am not advocating “works theology”. Some imply that the mere mention of “doing something” – even if for the Lord – hints at working for salvation. Men; everything that you can possibly do – all of it – cannot move you one fraction of an inch closer to deserving the gift of grace. It is free not because it is cheap, but because it is priceless; and praise the Lord that this is so! But works are important. How important? Read Matthew 25:41-46 below:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Well, how important is that? At the end of it all, the One who gave us His life to redeem us will separate those who will live eternally from those who will not; and He will do this based on whether or not they did what He asked them to do. It is important. Praise the Lord that we have good works that have been prepared for us to do, and that we have the Spirit enabling us to do them. Let us therefore do what He commands.

I know that by now many of you have heard that a large men’s conference will be simulcast here at Highland Community Church on the 5^th of February, 2011. The name of the conference is “No Regrets” and has been held in Wisconsin – down near Milwaukee – since 1994. We’ve sent men to this powerful conference, and now we have the distinct honor to bring this life-changing event to north-central Wisconsin. To prepare our hearts and minds to host this conference, and to awaken in each of us a desire to serve Christ with other men, I’ve prepared this short talk on the background of the name, “No Regrets”.

Lord, may each of us deliver as much service and dedication to your Kingdom on earth in a long lifetime as young William did in his short 25 years. I’d like to take each of the things Mr. Borden wrote and lived and break them down a step further, into something real that we can take home and do for Christ.

No Reserves

When I think about “No Reserves”, I remember all the people I have heard – Christian people – talking about their desperate need to do something for themselves, to “recharge” so that they can give again. I always worry that we are taking a selfish approach to that. William Borden captured it fully when he said, “Say no to self, and yes to Jesus; every time”. We are to be decreasing, and Christ is to be increasing; so who are we taking time for again!? If I stop the talk here, many of you will assert that even Christ moved away from the masses to a quiet place to recover, and He did; but He went there to pray to His Father, to re-fill Himself with God so that He had enough of God to give to others. God made us who we are, gave us a personality and unique gifts, and we should be who we are – genuine and transparent – but we should concentrate on the infilling of the Holy Spirit, so we can liberally splash out Living Water when life jostles us. When we find our calling, we should invest ourselves in it fully. I don’t mean work hard at it, I mean put ourselves out for it, all of  our energy and heart. Leave nothing on the field of battle.  Though it’s a weak analogy, here’s a video clip that sums up a piece of the fight we see ourselves in.

Did you hear the passion and force in his message? The inches we need are everywhere around us.. every minute and every second. Men, the people that Christ intends us to reach for Him are all around us and we have opportunities to affect them, every minute, and every second. On this team.. we claw with our finger nails for that inch.. because we know that’s going to make the difference between winning and losing, between living and dying. For us, that’s a sobering though; isn’t it? The difference between living – forever – with God, or dying – forever – and going to hell. I’ll tell you this, in any fight, it’s the guy that’s willing to die, who is going to get that inch. Will we each fight that hard for the Lord’s Kingdom here on earth? To save other men from the fate that awaits them if we do nothing? Look into each other’s eyes; do you see men that will go that inch with you? Let’s commit to going that inch together, leaving it all on the field, arriving in heaven with nothing held back, No Reserves.

No Retreats

Here, Borden showed that regardless his surroundings and pressure from peers, he would not sway from the work he was doing for the Lord. He would not shrink from the fight, no matter how pitched it became.

In World War I, American Marines fought for control of a small forest near Marne, in France. The frenzied battle they fought, while horribly outnumbered, earned them the name “TeufelHunde” from the Germans. It means “HellHound”, and it is the genesis of the title “Devil Dogs” that the Marines carry today. This 25-day battle saw the Marines fighting with their bayonets and fists more often than firing a weapon, as their supplies were low and reinforcement was problematic. In the midst of this hell on earth, a Lieutenant by the name Clifton Cates reported, “I have only two men out of my company, and 20 out of some other company. We need support, but it almost suicide to try to get it here as we are swept by machine gun fire and a constant barrage is on us. I have no one on my left, and only a few on my right. I will hold”. Lt. Cates gave this report on the 19^th day of fighting. Think about his situation.  He is surrounded by the enemy, has 22 men from two companies that began the battle with 160 men each. He wasn’t in command when the battle began, an infantry company is commanded by at least a Captain. He knows help is available but will not call for it because he knows it cannot arrive without taking heavy losses, and he will not sacrifice them to save himself! If the last three words “I will hold” do not rouse your heart as a man, check your pulse. He is pressed from every side, death has taken most in his command and is coming for him, and he says, “I will hold”. He will not surrender, and he will not retreat. I challenge you, when life begins to make things tough on you – Christian men – don’t give in to cursing, a fit of rage, playing the blame game, or retreating from a life ministry. Take a moment to look at Christ, then stare down your circumstances and say, “I will hold”. No Retreats.

No Regrets

One of my favorite quotes says that our humblest moments come when we open the book of our lives and read the story as it was written, as compared to what we vowed to make it. “No regrets” doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t elect to do anything differently if we had another crack at this life. It means, rather, that we do not regret following God, being a soldier for Him, regardless what happens here on earth. We know that as persistent as this vision seems, that it is timed and temporary. We are destined for eternity.

William Lloyd Garrison was an anti-slavery writer in the first half of the 19^th century. He published a paper called the Liberator. He began publishing this paper in 1831, and published it until the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution in 1865. In that time, he never failed to release a paper; 1820 issues in all. Garrison was ridiculed widely, and even served jail time for speaking against slavery, but had no regrets, because he knew he was on the side of right. Garrison followed all three of the statements we’ve covered  today, and you can see his philosophy summed up in the opening line of Liberator, Issue One; “I do not wish to think, or speak, or write, with moderation.. I am in earnest – I will not equivocate – I will not excuse – I will not retreat a single inch – AND I WILL BE HEARD”. When it’s done, let’s ensure that we can say that we have No Regrets.

Summary

Men, the life we lead in the United States of America is indeed a blessed one, but I am encouraging us not to let our prosperity and “things” get between us and a holy God. Nothing we try to build here matters unless it is God-ordained, and we “labor in vain” if we do it. I challenge each of us – in our various seasons of life – to discern what He is calling us to do, and then to do it with reckless abandon. Let us each fill ourselves with the Spirit, and then bring that Light to the world in our every interaction with others. May we be faithful every minute of every day, and when at last we lie down to sleep, be able to say, “I held for myself No Reserves, when faced with hardship I took No Retreats, and with the grace of my Lord, I have No Regrets”.

I am a tireless proponent of strong, lion-hearted Christian men and my heart is roused in me when I hear, watch, or re-tell the stories from the pictures above. How then can I say that these representations of men are “not what it takes”?

While the men portrayed in the pictures above have characteristics that are precious today (because they are so rare), there is one aspect of our lives as Christians in which the approach that these men take to life will never work. Regardless their strength, their will, devotion to a cause, willingness to sacrifice all; there is one place where none of this will bring results…

In Mark 10:13-16 Christ tells his disciples that without accepting the Good News “like a little child”, that they will never enter into it. Regardless our strength, our “goodness”, our service, we cannot enter into His rest without accepting the free gift “like a child”. In Matthew 18:1-4, Christ says that we must have faith like little children. This leaves us with questions, “How does a child receive a gift?”, and, “How does a child’s faith manifest itself differently than an adult”?

Let’s skip all of the Christmas-time experiences where your child gets a gift that he or she didn’t want and is upset with. This experience (that we’ve all had once or twice) is borne of a combination of consumerism, selfishness, and false expectation. Think back to a time that you gave your child a gift that they didn’t expect, that was something they wanted desperately, and that filled them with awe. Do you remember the look on their face? What about the catch in their breath, or the heightened tenor of their voice? Perhaps the screaming and jumping? The free gift of the Kingdom is accepted by us often in the first way, grudgingly, as if it comes with strings and things that we don’t desire. If we are disgusted by our child’s behavior when they get socks instead of an XBox 360, how much more must God be pained when we grudgingly or resentfully accept the gift of His Son, stretched out on a cross, dying for our sins? Christ said that we must accept the Gift in that second way. A child cannot believe that this is for them, that it is happening now, and they wonder how you kept it a secret for so long! Have you felt that way about the Good News? When it finally ‘hit’ you… the gift was meant for YOU, that you are now truly SAVED forever, and why on earth did it take so LONG to find it?! What does your child do next? They explore the gift, in awe… and when they have a surface knowledge of what it is and does, they RUN to share their mystical good fortune with others. Folks, you can’t hold this sort of thing in! Once we are saved we cannot help ourselves.. we must share the Good News with others!

Faith is that thing which goes beyond reason and allows us to maintain an eternal and godly view of the temporary and temporal. How then does a child interact with this mental/emotional/spiritual thing? First of all, the child doesn’t deconstruct it as I just did! They just DO it! Second, the faith is complete. Kids – at a certain age – know that their Dad can do anything. When someone says anything that flies in the face of this, the child doesn’t – for one split-second – question their Father; they laugh at the person making the statement. Now, blind faith is not what I am advocating here… not carte’ blanche and across the board, but a humility that allows for the idea that there are things that we don’t know, and that God is that all-powerful Father that will never let us down, regardless what things ‘look like’ right now.

Christians are often accused of being robots to Scripture, in the face of evidence to the contrary. Faith does not demand that we do not question and it does not demand that we do not think. Indeed, the prophets of old often prayed for God to fill them with wisdom, and then they moved forward boldly, in faith. Do children ask questions? All parents of four year-olds are laughing out loud right now. Sure they ask questions, and that’s fine, it’s how they (we) learn! God never gets tired of answering our questions, ask Him! We need to be able to defend our belief, and that requires knowledge. Just don’t let man’s knowledge get out in front of your faith.

Here’s a short story about a child’s faith written as a first-person account by Dave Snyder. We can each learn a great deal about what our mindset should be when we ask God for something, or when He asks us to do something.

I will never forget his face. Looking up at me he appeared close to tears. I felt terrible for putting him through this but I had to finish the process even though it was breaking my heart.

I was sharing morning chapel with a group of fifth graders and had placed three cups of water on a table in front of the class. I proceeded to explain that I added a colorless, odorless substance to one of the cups that could kill them in four or five minutes. Then I asked the question: “Is there anyone who is willing to come forward, choose one of these three cups and drink it?”

I know. Sounds cruel, doesn’t it? But invariably, in the many times I have used this illustration in school groups, someone comes forward.

On this particular day a little red-headed boy raised his hand and soon stood before me and the three ominous cups. I reiterated the situation he faced regarding the deadly substance I had added to one of the cups. The boy’s countenance began to change from confidence to anticipation, and then to fear. I was beginning to wonder if I should ever do this illustration again and if I could be sued for mental cruelty.

With Shaky Hands

Little Ken felt he must go through with his commitment to save face with the class. With shaky hands he took the middle cup and raised it to his trembling lips. I was feeling worse about myself by the minute. Was I scarring this kid for life? Would his dad look me up and do me in?

We all watched as Ken slowly emptied the cup, placed it back on the table and looked up at me with questioning eyes. Placing my hand on his shoulder I quickly assured him, “Ken, you didn’t drink the wrong cup. The clear, odorless substance I added to one of the cups was nothing but more water. If you put your face in it long enough, yes it can kill you. Right?” Ken took a deep breath of relief and offered a weak smile.

I continued by asking Ken the question I always did at the conclusion of this experiment: “Ken, why did you drink that cup knowing you could die if you picked the wrong one?” The answer broke my heart and still does today. Looking up at me, his eyes misty, he softly said, “Because I knew you wouldn’t let me die.” What an incredible model of faith I will never forget! I now understand more clearly why Jesus said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Here is the simple yet profound conclusion: little Ken knew me. By knowing me he trusted me with his very life. I am reluctantly confronted with this question: do I exhibit that same child-like trust in my Savior? I must confess–I too often hesitate to drink the cup

Carrying My Wife for 30 Days

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I’ve got something to tell you”. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. “I want a divorce”, I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “why”?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, “you are not a man”! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her crying was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our eldest son had his middle school exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce”, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our younger son clapped behind us, “..daddy is holding mommy in his arms”! His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; “don’t tell our sons about the divorce”. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given twenty years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry my wife as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger?

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our younger son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it’s time to carry mom out”. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy”.

I drove to the office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, “Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore”.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Jane”, I said, “I won’t divorce”. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us part. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us part”.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up the stairs, only to find my wife had been driven home from work early, and she was confined to bed as she was too weak to walk. She died that night, at home in the bed I carried her from every day, for 30 days.
My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save my reputation with our sons, in case we pushed thru with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

Men, perhaps you’ve never gotten a divorce, considered a divorce, or even taken enough time and energy away from your family to consider yourself a failure. For the two or three of you that covers, congratulations! We could all do so much more to build intimacy with our wives, and if you’ve never failed in a big way, consider if you’ve ‘been all that you can be’ to your beloved. We don’t know how long we have, and we are so rarely aware of who is watching. Let us live as though our marriages are the first and brightest reflection of Christ, because they are!

There are several points in this story worth calling out. First, both spouses were angry… and that’s fine. The key is to handle our anger in such a way that it is not sinful. Focusing on ourselves, our desires, to the detriment of our spouse is sin. Second, while we all need to be motivated by a clean spirit and real heart change, we need to be aware that sometimes, behavior can change the heart! Sometimes, orthopraxy (doing what is right) can bring us to a fuller understanding and active living of orthodoxy (right theology). Third, see the realization and change in perception that took place when this husband spent one-on-one time with his wife. Understand that the same thing holds true in our relationship with God. Time spent with one another builds understanding and intimacy.  Fourth, this combination of right living and right teaching, when practiced over time, will change our focus from ourselves to others, and will enable us to live a life that glorifies God more and more each day. This man finally ‘saw’ his wife, after so many years of emotional neglect, because he was “living right”, and only for 30 days. What a difference in that amount of time! Finally, remember that our days are numbered. Take the time with your wife whom the Lord has given you, all the days you have been given on this earth. Delight in her as the wife of your youth, regardless your age and regardless how you stand with one another today. Take the time.

Thanks for reading!

Ron

P.S. For practical tips on what to do to rebuild your relationship and really focus on your wife in an intentional way, take “The Love Dare” as a start. This works, regardless where you are, and it gives a great deal of information to you about the places where your beloved can use time and attention.

I started several devotions for this morning’s breakfast; a Father’s Day chat, and Memorial Day recognition, a direct and forceful talk about a Christian man and his calling, but I have been led to the book of Ephesians for today’s conversation with you. First.. a personal story. I went in recently for a consult on ADHD. I wanted to try some new treatment options, and needed to undergo an assessment with a new doctor. I sat in the waiting room for 10 or 15 minutes, tapping my foot, reading magazines, pacing… until the assistant came and took me to a room with nothing on the floor, walls, or ceiling. The only thing in the room was a rather sturdy looking desk with a monitor and a keyboard. The assistant explained that letters would flash on the screen and I was to press a key each time this happened, except when the letter “X” flashed up on the screen. I began, and the letters came, fast and furious, then slower… then fast again. Here and there I skipped the “X” when I should, but as I got into a rhythm, I found that the “X” would flash, and I’d press the key… just because I had become used to pressing the key. Then, I became incensed at myself for hitting the “X”… so upset that I would mess up the next couple of keypresses. “A” – press, “I” – press, “N” – press, “K” – press, “X” – press… D’OH!!! It seems that this is much like our life as Christians… we naturally do what we repeat. 14 minutes of that seemed like an eternity, and I am glad I didn’t take a blood pressure test soon thereafter. Take a guy with ADHD and put him in a small room, make him do one boring thing, boy I tell you… I’ll bet they had a hidden camera somewhere! Let’s see how this idea of conditioned stimulus and response applies to Paul’s writings.

So, Ephesians… are we going to talk about the fact Paul seemingly wrote Ephesians expressly to demonstrate Pastor Jeff’s [our senior pastor] continued focus on the difference between (and necessity of) orthodoxy and orthopraxy? After all, the book is split neatly in two between “how to believe” in Chapters 1 through 3 and “how to live” in Chapters 4 through 6! Perhaps we will talk about relationships and focus on the gender-specific verses from 22 through 26? It’s always nice to talk about submissive wives, right?

I have a confession to make; we are going to speak about only two verses in Ephesians today… that’s all you’re getting. If you feel ‘jipped’, please show up on Sunday for some preaching that’s far better than what you’re getting now! I further confess that you’re going to get a strong message about what God expects from us as Christians, with the added note that we are to lead in this regard in our homes… by example.

So, here we are in the middle of Paul’s preaching on how we ought to live, and, taking up in verse three of Chapter 5 we read, “..sexual immorality and all impurity of covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints”.  We are saints! Isn’t that cool!? Now, I know what you’re saying… “I know Ron pretty well and I can’t speak for the rest of these jokers, but he’s no saint”. Here, Christ has declared us saints and then sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, giving us the strength to live as saints. Paul extends a bit of grace to the Ephesians (and to each of us) by calling them “saints”. Paul states that sexual immorality should not exist among the saints. Sounds pretty obvious, doesn’t it? I can already hear some of you thinking, “I don’t sleep with other women, I’m good”, or, “I am a ‘normal guy’ in this regard, not extra kinky or anything”. I don’t suppose that our view changes if we bring in Christ’s view that thinking about sex with a woman is a sin, just as performing the act would be? Not convinced? Okay, let’s “rise above” the laiety and focus only on clergy for a moment. Leadership Journal did an anonymous survey on sex and the American clergy. Of the pastors responding to the survey, 20 percent said they looked at sexually oriented media at least once a month! 38% said they actively fantasized about sex with someone other than their spouse more than once monthly. When asked if in their church ministry if they had even done anything they felt was sexually inappropriate, 23 percent answered yes! When asked about physical infidelity, 12 percent of pastors answered, “yes”, after entering the ministry. When the laity were asked the same questions, the rates almost doubled, across the board. This indicates – to me – that leaders have an issue looking clearly into the mirror and confronting themselves and their sin. Let me give you a bit of a secret about that study. It was done more than twenty years ago, before the advent of the Internet. What do you think the rates are now?

Paul then goes on to talk about greed, and it may seem as though this is out of place, but greed has a great deal to do with sexual immorality. Greed is an appetite for something more, always. Sexual immorality is us ‘acting out’ on this desire for more. Covetousness is greed applied to something another person already has. There was a time that advertising companies would give an honest overview of a product they were proud of and compete for market share. I worked in advertising before coming to Wausau, and we didn’t care if our product was a great one, only that our advertisement was present once we successfully made people dissatisfied with what they had. All we had to do was awaken greed in a person, and have our ad in front of them when it happened.

God’s standard for behavior and sin are absolute, and Paul states that even a hint of these things must not exist among the believers. With the statistics we’ve heard and the knowledge of the truth, it’s clear that strong medicine is needed. In order to raise children that are moral and behave in a saintly manner, we must each act in that manner. Children’s behavior is more ‘caught’ than ‘taught’. We must remove from our homes every form of immorality and every hint of sex and greed. I challenge you each to do the following this evening. Sit down – as a family – around the dining room table with your DVD, music, or media file collection in the middle. Then, read Philippians 4:8 aloud and separate the movies into two piles, one to keep and one to toss. Each time you find yourself rationalizing a movie with a phrase like, “there are a couple ‘things’ in it, but it has a good story or moral”, place that movie in the “toss” pile. The way we explain this to our kids is as follows. We all like brownies, right? I’ve made some brownies, chocolately and thick… still warm, and I have some ice cream to go with them; want some? Inevitably they yell, “yes”! And we say, “ah, just one more thing… in all of this chocolatey goodness, we’ve mixed in just a teeny bit of cat poop… but don’t worry, there not much bad stuff and overall, the brownies taste really good”! Their faces fall, and they walk away… every time. Cat poop isn’t the loss of our reward after arriving in heaven, and yet we have a stronger reaction to it… wow.

Why do I think that this verse speaks so strongly about a zero tolerance for these things? Well, beyond the simple and clear language used, the next verse brings it home in a big way… let’s cover verse four; “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving”. The word for ‘filth’ here is the same root as “disgraceful” and means anything about which we ought to feel shame. The word “moron” comes from the word that is translated “foolish talk” and in this context does not mean someone who is mentally deficient, but a person who is morally deficient. Crude joking means “to turn easily”, or, to have a quick comeback. Again, in context, this means a quick comeback of a sexual nature. The ability to turn anything into something sexual should not be a skill of ours. We don’t joke about sex for the same reason we don’t joke about God… it’s a sacred subject.  God’s standard is absolute and it includes moral purity in thought, speech, and behavior.

So, how do we do it? At the end of verse four we see that the opposite of greed and lust is to give thanks. What does giving thanks have to do with purity? Remember when I said that to trigger greed we had to become dissatisfied with what we have? A person that is giving thanks doesn’t have the time or inclination to be dissatisfied. A thankful person is inoculated against greed. Eve was tempted because she was made to be dissatisfied with “everything but the forbidden fruit”. If we complain about the job we have, the wife we have, and so on; we are not merely dissatisfied, but we are questioning God’s wisdom and sovereignty in our lives! Do you trust God, or don’t you? Let us focus on giving thanks for what we have, the fact that we are in the Light, and live as though we are.

Fast-forward through forty-two years of history, a couple of trials, countless encounters with consequence, many jobs, and several years here at Highland. That brings us to late March of this year. Late in the afternoon on a Sunday, I got a cryptic email from a man I didn’t know on Facebook. I brought up his profile, and with his picture on the screen, Justina walked by the computer and said, “That man is your brother; no question”. Soon after, I got a call from a pastor in California and he asked questions about my birthdate, where I was born, and so on. I asked him what he was getting at, and he said, “I think I am sitting next to your birth mother, and she’d like to talk to you. Can she call you right back”? Five minutes later – after 42 years – I was speaking with the woman who gave me life, and then – in what must have been a heart-wrenching, almost impossible decision – gave me up to someone better prepared to raise me. Long story short, my family and I will have the incredible privilege of meeting my half-brother, his wife, and birth mother face-to-face when they visit our home in late May for a few days!

So, what does my life story have to do with anything? Well, today I am writing about other people who have been adopted; and what that adoption looks like. I don’t mean Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, James Michner, Edgar Allan Poe, Malcolm X, Moses or even Jesus (all of whom were adopted), I mean each one of us that are ‘Christians’. Each of us have been adopted by God, as sons, into His family. Galatians 4:1-7 reads

“What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father. So also, when we were children, we were in slavery under the basic principles of the world. But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir”.

The word adoption (huiothesia) means “to make, a son”. It defines a legal transition of rights and responsibilities from one parent to another. Adoption was common to the Romans, though it was very expensive and formal. Romans of high standing often adopted sons to carry on the family line. In fact, in the first 200 years of Roman society, seven of the ten emperors inherited their positions through adoption. An important note in Roman law is that if a slave were adopted (only the free could adopt), the slave was made free through that adoption and inherited the rights of a son. In Roman law, sons that were adopted could not subsequently be “given back”. All of these intricacies were understood by Paul, as evidenced by his use of these specific words; and these words would have been well understood by his audience. We have been adopted by God, from our father Satan, given the rights and standing of a free person in His kingdom, as contrasted to our bondage and slavery to the law before that time; and it was expensive. It cost the life of God Himself on the cross, in the form of His Son, Our Saviour.

So, what does adoption require of the adopted? First, it requires that we build a relationship with our new Father. Clearly demonstrated in the cry “Abba, Father”, the joyous cry of a 1^st Century son, running into his father’s arms as Dad returns from a long trip. “Abba”, means “Daddy”! That open, joyous, warm and welcoming relationship that Christ came to demonstrate. “Father”, has the connotation of an elder that teaches, trains, and cares. Secondly, it requires that we develop faith in our new Father, trusting Him to guide, train, and to provide.. Romans 8:31-32 says,

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”.

Finally, adoption requires that we learn to trust in our standing, to truly believe that we are part of the family. John 1:12 says,

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God..”

As I close this note, what does this adoption mean? First, it means that we are no longer slaves to the law. The curtain that kept us from an Almighty God has been ripped in two, and we have a personal and direct relationship with Him (Gal 3: 24-25). Second, it means that we are His sons (Gal 4:6), with an attendant desire to act like one. Finally, now that we’re sons, and moved from the law into grace (and are living with our new Dad), we are heirs of God. We inherit what God has! First His Spirit dwells in us, and finally, we will inherit perfect bodies, with eternal life.

Men, the deposit of the Spirit shows us that we are sons of God, heirs of the eternal kingdom of our Father. I challenge us: do not be faithless and ignorant, learn to walk as brothers of Christ, in the family of God. Dare to walk as sons!

In today’s note, Ron has some time to ride and think, about bikes, luggage, men, and ministry.. and, obviously, produce some Vitamin D in his skin!

Click through to read more.

When my wife and I first married, I had just sold my last motorcycle. We agreed that once the kids were ‘out of the house’ that we would spend our time riding on a new motorcycle ‘across Canada’. Last year – though the kids are not yet gone – she suggested that it might be time, and I jumped at the chance. We bought a 2003 100th Anniversary Harley Fat Boy, and I started riding. Note: “We” did not start riding… that’s just happened this year.

There are people that will tell you that you pick Harley for the brand, for the idea that it’s “Made in the USA”, or for the raw, gritty rumble. I’m here to tell you that we picked it for all those reasons, and more. There is a storied history there, a rich background and nostalgia. It’s clear that other manufacturers build good bikes, and many enjoy them; they just weren’t options for us. Some say that “H.D.” stands for “hundred dollars”, and that you have a money pit once you get one. Well, I wish the limit on a trip to a dealer was $100, and the pit description falls well short as a pit just sits there and doesn’t pull your money toward it. A Harley is much more like a money “black hole”… but again, we’d have it no other way.

On to the story… we had discussed getting saddlebags for the bike, and we started looking around at Harley bags. What we saw were small bags – likely made to fit above the stock shotgun exhaust – in the 550 cu in range. We knew these would not hold what we needed on longer rides, even though we have a T-Bag for the upright. We then started looking at other options for bolt-on bags. Most bags required that you have metal standoffs installed on the bike, or they were ‘throw-overs’ like Pony Express mailbags… neither of these options appealed to us. Then – cue sound of angels singing here – we found Ironbags (www.ironbags.com). Max builds a bag, from the ground up, on a piece of fiberglass formed to the contours of a Harley, using Hermann oak tanned leather, vegetable dyed, with metal hardware and many options. These bags are a work of art, are larger than stock Harley bags, come in various shapes and sizes, and are generally cheaper “per cubic inch” than Harley bags. We are overjoyed with the result and recommend anyone in search of saddlebags to Max.

So, the ride. It made sense to me to have the bags put on in the shop, if possible, and Max agreed to let me help (even though he must have known this would take longer). I began my ride at 08:30, 48 degrees. I was ready: I had an Under Armor Cold Gear layer, a t-shirt, jeans, and a leather motorcycle jacket. I took County Road O down to Highway 29… so far so good. A few twistys, sun’s out, I’m pretty warm… yeah, at 45 mph. On 29 things changed… a friendly warm 48 degrees in the sun at 65 mph becomes a bone-chilling sub 25 degrees. After two hours of that cold, I stopped in Chippewa Falls to warm up (I mean, have a snack) and then made the final run down 53 and 93 to Eleva.

I arrived at Max’s shop and immediately noticed the clean, simple lines and surroundings. Max has been doing this a long time, and it shows. The brackets, the install, the design approach all belie many years of learning and refinement. It was my honor to see Max at work. This is where nostalgia is built! Max and I put on the bags in around an hour, greased them one more time, chatted for a bit, and then I prepared for the ride home.

I decided to take Hwy 10 back through Marshfield to 13 and finally 97 through Athens. The slower speed caused less wind chill, and the day had gotten warmer. It also gave me a chance to stop at the High Ground Veteran’s Memorial for a few minutes (www.thehighground.org). I got home and showed the bags to the family at around 15:30. Overall a GREAT ride, successful and enjoyable.

So what? Nice ride.. no learning. Well, not so. Riding that bike gives me time to do little but be left alone with my thoughts, as scary a proposition as that seems. Aside from obvious thoughts about life, how God created us and the world I was driving through, I thought about bags, that is, luggage. By putting these bags on the bike, I would be ensuring that my rides would be longer, and that I would ‘have’ to take more stuff. Isn’t this much like what Christ did for us by setting His example? By giving us His Spirit? What I mean is, Christ multiplied our burdens… when we become saved a spiritual part of us awakens that was lost before. We become sensitive to things we almost didn’t know existed prior to our conversion. While some things pale, in general, our mental burden is greater; but, Christ gives us the luggage to carry these burdens in. He gives us His word, through which we can view a confusing world. He gives us His example which we can follow, and He gives us His Spirit by whom we are led in our daily walk (if we listen). It’s true that our burdens multiply, but with the new luggage, the carrying is made easier, almost natural. Much as the saddlebags are now part of our bike, Christ’s example and word can be worked into our being, allowing us to carry more and take joy in the journey!

View the Ride Map

Technorati Tags: burdens, cycle, fat boy, harley, ironbags, max, saddlebags, sunburn

WDYSTIA?

In Matthew 16:15, after asking the rather oblique question, “Who do others say that I am?”, Christ asked the disciples, “Who do you say that I am”?

A recent Barna Group research study revealed that less than 9% of all adult Americans have a “biblical worldview”*. In addition, only 19% of “Born again Christians”** have a biblical worldview. Interestingly, these percentages have remained unchanged for almost 15 years.

Among young adults (the “Mosaic” generation, ages 18 to 23), the percentage of people with a biblical worldview is less than one-half of one percent, as compared to near 1 out of every nine older adults***.

What do numbers like these mean to Christians, to our nation, and to parents and youth? Click through to read more…

To get a picture of what this number means, let’s imagine you – the dedicated reader – as a community college instructor at a large college and that you teach five classes a day of a common elective. At 08:00, two hundred students file in to your room and ‘learn’ for 50 minutes. A front row of young eyes fifteen people across, and thirteen or 14 rows deep. At 09:00 this repeats, then 10:00, 11:00 and 13:00. One thousand young adults throughout each weekday, watching you and listening; taking what you say and processing it.

How many of those students entered that room and listened to what you taught through the filter of a biblical worldview? Five or less. One in every class. In that sea of faces, only ONE young person looked at their instructor and filtered every word and concept through a filter of ancient God-given wisdom that was intended for our betterment. And we wonder! We wonder why youth seems ‘lost’ and afraid, always compensating for something unseen. We wonder why suicide rates are up, why school shootings happen, and why there is so much personal pain in the world as a result of poor choices.

Every time I speak about numbers like these, well-meaning (and perhaps defensive) parents say, “Oh yes, but it’s common while youth are ‘finding themselves’ to question their faith. They will ‘come back’ and believe”. They then quote Proverbs 22:6, secure in the knowledge that the child “will return when he or she is older”. Two points there, first, we already know – from this same study – that only one of nine adults ‘come back’, and my second is related, and that is, “Come back to what”? Other Barna studies have also pointed out that a persons worldview is primarily shaped and is firmly in place by the time someone reaches the age of 13; it is refined through experience during the teen and early adult years; and then it is passed on to others during their adult life. Such studies underscore the necessity of parents and other influencers being intentional in how they help develop the worldview of children.

Worldview has a dramatic influence on a persons choices in any given situation. Research indicates that there are unusually large differences in behavior related to matters such as media use, profanity, gambling, alcohol use, honesty, civility, and sexual choices where one worldview vs. another is concerned.

Barna put it best when he said, “There are several troubling patterns to take notice of. First, although most Americans consider themselves to be Christian and say they know the content of the Bible, less than one out of ten Americans demonstrate such knowledge through their actions. Second, the generational pattern suggests that parents are not focused on guiding their children to have a biblical worldview. One of the challenges for parents, though, is that you cannot give what you do not have, and most parents do not possess such a perspective on life. That raises a third challenge, which relates to the job that Christian churches, schools and parachurch ministries are doing in Christian education. Finally, even though a central element of being a Christian is to embrace basic biblical principles and incorporate them into one’s worldview, there has been no change in the percentage of adults or even born again adults in the past 13 years regarding the possession of a biblical worldview”.

Are you learning every day? Do you pass on what you learn? Do you LIVE what you learn so those around you can be affected by it? Are you part of a church that helps you mature in correct biblical learning (orthodoxy) and then mentors you and holds you accountable while you live it (orthopraxy)? You cannot give what you do not have, and there are a majority of people in our country who THIRST for more, and can be given nothing, because most of us have nothing to give.

I challenge you today; hit your knees, ask the Lord to fill your cup, and then pour it out on others. Rinse and Repeat.

- – - -

DEFINITIONS

*For the purposes of this survey, a “biblical worldview” was defined as believing that absolute moral truth exists; the Bible is totally accurate in all of the principles it teaches; Satan is considered to be a real being or force, not merely symbolic; a person cannot earn their way into Heaven by trying to be good or do good works; Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; and God is the all-knowing, all-powerful creator of the world who still rules the universe today. In the research, anyone who held all of those beliefs was said to have a biblical worldview.

**For the purposes of this survey, these are people who said they have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is important in their life today and that they are certain that they will go to Heaven after they die only because they confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior.

***The other group that possessed a below average likelihood of holding a biblical worldview were those people that describe themselves as liberal on social and political matters (also less than one-half of one percent).

Technorati Tags: christ, christian worldview, disciple, Faith, young adult, youth

This message isn’t about whether or not you hide and search for eggs, or enjoy sweet treats on this holiday. Frankly, hiding things, searching for things, finding things, and tasting something sweet are all enjoyable things to do. My question is, “What are we focused on as we perform our activities on a daily basis, not only at Easter, but year round”?

Are you hiding something? From others, from God? What in our lives should we be bringing into the Light of Day, to be given to God and forsaken and forgiven? What should we be freed from that has a hold on us?

Are you searching for something that you haven’t yet found? Perhaps you attend a church, but you don’t yet feel like a member of the body of Christ? Perhaps you have walked with the Lord for many years, but you are struggling right now under the weight of this world and its attacks? Perhaps you are looking for a friend or companion to help and encourage you.

Have you found what you are looking for? Do you know that you have it, and that it will never leave? Are you assured that you have it, secure in that knowledge, and growing every day into His image?

If you are secure, walking in the Lord, growing with Him every day… are you taking JOY in the journey? Is there a song in your heart and on your lips? Can others not help but see the joy of the Lord shining through your eyes and in your life?

Too many times we are overtaken by the “here and now”, the temporal; but the power that raised Christ from the grave is ours, and it guarantees those that are saved that they will be with the Lord forever. Think about that for a moment: the power that raised Christ from the dead.. is yours. I don’t just mean the power to resist eating that extra Cadbury egg (trademarked), the power to avoid saying that short word to your spouse, or the power to deal with a child that is emotional at the moment, or even the power to overcome every sin on this earth; I mean, the awesome, heavenly power that brought our Lord back from the dead. (Romans 8:11, 1 Peter 1:3-7, Ephesians 1:17-21)

Technorati Tags: bunny, easter, he is risen, open tomb

D-Day

My father was born in 1933 just after the giddy height of the 1920′s had worn off and the Great Depression had gripped the United States. By the time of my Dad’s birth, the world economy was in turmoil and 1300 banks in the U.S. had closed. An additional four and one half million people lost their jobs, in a population of 125 million and now more than 30 million Americans had no income. Herbert Hoover had seemed unable to act, and Congress passed the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, exacerbating an already established global recession. In 1932 F.D.R. arrived with massive bailout plans designed to shore up the economy, and the effect of some of these plans are felt yet today. Overseas, three men were planning to change the face of the political landscape, Hitler in Germany, Stalin in Russia, and Mao Zedong in China.

In the later 1930′s, Chamberlain returned from a summit with Hitler and proclaimed, “..we have peace in our time, peace with honor”; it was neither. As country after country fell in front of the Nazi war machine, America watched and readied herself, sending aid to a Britain struggling against the German aggressor. When my father was eight years of age, the Japanese hit us at Pearl Harbor, dragging a now awakened bear from its den. America was at war.

By 1944, 12 million Americans were in uniform and 19 million more people were back at work, 35 percent of them were women. This nation was immersed in the war, from the front to the back, and they won. This generation knew the intense humility and privation that the Great Depression brought, they lived through the hard work of rebuilding this nation, they saw so many of their friends, so many aspiring scientists, musicians, mathematicians, farmers, that didn’t make it past their very early twenties, who gave their all to this country. Millions of men and women were involved in this fight through poverty and riches, adversity and achievement, and from defeat to triumph. This generation of men and women kept our way of life alive for their children through personal sacrifice. Thank you Mom and Dad, thank you Grandma and Grandpa, and I would like to apologize to you for not learning what I should have so that I could be this strong in my generation. (As an aside, I’d like to apologize to my kids as well, because we are doing the opposite of what our parents did; we are tearing this country down to feed our gluttony and leaving you scraps to rebuild with).

Here’s my question: Where are these men and women today? We are faced with what could be the beginnings of a depression, there are many questions where international violence is concerned, and many domestic programs are in jeopardy. I fear that our parents fought for this country and we inherited it, said, “thank you very much”, and went and sat on the couch.. and stayed there. We took their long-suffering and turned it into a need for immediate gratification, accepted their endurance and twisted it into expectation, and received the benefit of their toil and eroded it until we became apathetic.

I’d like to suggest that there is a Biblical parallel – several actually – to this tale of American success and failure. Let me first state that I will spend little time on the first – and most obvious – parallel which is the story of the Israelites in Judges. Their cycle of faith, backsliding, apostasy, supplication, deliverance, faith.. and so on was due to the fact that they took their eyes off the Lord. While I think this parallel is definitely appropriate here, I don’t want to make it the central issue because if I do, Christian men and women will blame others, and men and women of other faiths will set my suggestions aside as “Christian” and therefore irrelevant. I want all of us to go take a long look in the mirror.

⁵ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” - Haggai 1:5,6

Those who know the backstory for the book of Haggai understand that this warning is much like the first point I promised to spend little time on, but these verses alone are prophetic for us today. Don’t the people Haggai is referring to here sound a lot like modern-day Americans? I’d like to suggest that a major part of our failure to be ‘as great’ as our parents generation is because we are focused so much on ourselves that we have no time to believe that we are part of something greater than ourselves. We want things and time, and we want them for ‘us and ours’ and not for others. This selfishness is one reason there has been a huge backlash in this country against people who desire wealth, and in an unhealthy way. We aren’t holding up people who give to others and keep country traditions alive, instead we reward those who decide not to work with the money we’ve stolen from those who do labor. We reward selfishness and punish labor, and we wonder why we have a country chock full of people unmotivated to work!?

Third, in Judges we see that the beginning of the cycle of backsliding begins with an association with evil, with the people around the Israelites, with intermarriage and taking on their customs. It is difficult to live next to a thing and remain insulated from it; it is impossible to remain unaffected if you marry into it. We are called to be, “..in the world, but not of the world”, and we are called to witness to all nations, and we are to remain set apart. Christians often take these commands too far; on one end of the spectrum we have Christians that pray that ‘unbelievers’ won’t move into the vacant house next door and try to keep their family from associating with the ‘unsaved’; on the other end, we have people prone to certain weaknesses going right back into their old lives to ‘witness’ to others they once knew. It is clear that we must come into contact with ‘the world’ to witness, Christ did this and did it regularly, but if He needed rest and regeneration with like-minded people, who are we to think we don’t? This is where a local church becomes so critical. We are to bear one another’s burdens and to build each other up in the faith.. so that we can do the Lord’s work.

So, why is this generation ill-prepared to take on the challenges that faced our parents and grandparents? Because God is no longer the center of our lives, because we are almost wholly selfish, and because we are so caught up with what others are doing that we have failed to chart a course for ourselves (let alone follow it).

What can we do? I suggest that we turn back to the Word. If you are not a Christian today, first, I thank you for reading this far, and second, I urge you to crack open a Bible and read the book of John. It is about 3/4 of the way through the Bible, in the New Testament. Just read the book over the next few days or weeks and see what you think. Email me at windowormirror@gmail.com to chat. For those who believe, I suggest taking inventory. Find out where your focus is. Is it on the eternal? Do you have a heart for Kingdom building here on earth? Let us all become less selfish and carry out the work of the Lord here on earth. With a renewed focus, God can use us in great ways.. we have at our disposal – for His purposes – the power that raised Christ from the dead!

Technorati Tags: father, greatest generation, history, honor, man, men, respect, strength, war

State of WI

The state in which I live has put forth a new motto for tourism, which you see written in the title of this post. Rather than debate the indefensible basis for this motto – which has little to do with the outdoors, vacationing, lakes, or any other actual tourist activity in the state of Wisconsin – I thought we could look at this motto as it applies to the Christian life.

On the face of it, the motto is catchy, if a bit misplaced. In a state renowned for the drinking problems of its inhabitants, perhaps it is a dangerous thing to ask us to “mean it”, rather than continue just “doing it”.

What would our lives look like if we followed this motto? Is there a base in Scripture for the idea that Christians should live this way? Let’s investigate.

First, excellence in every one of our endeavors. We know – as Christians – that we should be dedicated to quality and improvement in every area of our lives. In Colossians 3:23 we read, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men”. This makes it clear that we do things “heartily” because we are doing it ‘for the Lord’, or, written another way, we do everything for His glory.

The word translated “heartily” here is ‘psyche’, meaning your inner self, with your whole being, mind, heart and soul. This obviates the possibility that we can do anything “half-hearted” as Christians; we do all things to His glory, with all of who we are. Note that this leaves a massive expanse of glorious difference in our approach, as each thing is done with our inner being, and we are all very different… and God intended this.

Stop for a moment and think about the import of the previous paragraph. Each thing that you do, is done to the glory of God. Just like every action you take in the presence of your children ‘trains them’, every action you take in front of God (hint: all actions) is to His glory. Either you are doing a good job of glorifying Him, or you are not. Do you think that we have this in the back of our mind all day, every day? What might our lives look like if we did? If we lived this intentionally, do you think that we might have to talk about God less because others might see Him in us a little more?

“In all things, preach Christ; and if necessary, use words” – St. Francis of Assisi

Second, the abundant life. Christ said, in John 10:10, “..I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. Many pastors – TV evangelists especially – are espousing the idea that Christ is referring to temporal wealth or physical happiness here on this earth. Since the tale of the rich young ruler, most of the book of James (or John 15), and the life of King David make it clear that A) riches can be a hindrance to people in a walk of faith, B) that we will certainly see trials in this life, and C) that ‘men of God’ get discouraged and can become profoundly unhappy. So, what then did Christ mean by the word, “abundant”?

The word translated as “abundant” here is the Greek word ‘perissos’ which translates elsewhere as “excellent”, “in abundance”, “excess”. It is the word used to mean, “We took until we could take no more, and we have yet more”. In surrounding verses we see that Christ is speaking about sheep, and their shepherd. Some historical context is also helpful here. At night, shepherds would herd several flocks into a rock-walled enclosure, and they – the shepherds – would lay and sleep in the opening through which the sheep came. They were – quite literally – the “gate” where the sheep came in and out. In the morning, a shepherd would stand at the gate and call for his sheep, and because they knew his voice, they would come out and go with the shepherd to the pasture of choice that day. This knowledge of history gives a tangible and real face to the story Christ is relating to his disciples.

So, what then does Christ mean by His words? He is not speaking of the life that the sheep have, a temporal existence, heartbeat, and so on because each of the people to whom He was speaking was already alive. Christ was speaking about a life “in Him”, a life beyond what we know here, eternally but also spiritually here and now. Essentially Christ was saying, “I will take the life you have now and increase its meaning and depth boundlessly, giving you purpose here (glorify God) and the knowledge that you are living for me. The abundant life is a spiritual life lived to the glory of God.

So, we live the abundant life with all our heart, mind, and soul as Christians. That sure sounds like, “Live Like You Mean It”, right? The one thing that we’re missing is the concept that we can all do this and look very different doing it, and we can still be squarely within the intent of God. We dislike this concept as a church, we want a homogenous environment where everyone looks similar and is serving in a similar way. Christ’s disciples didn’t look like that and God hasn’t created us like that. We all look radically different, living different lives, and yet we live for Him. Get over it.

Recently my wife and I attended a meeting of Christian bikers, and someone in the group was cautioning against “appearing” a certain way to ‘bikers’. My dear wife – unable to keep silent any longer – made the perfect point, and that was, “Look; don’t appear to be anything! Be who you are. If you don’t know who that is, figure it out and then be that. Anyone living life “like they mean it” – hardcore biker or otherwise – will sniff out a phony faster than anything else, and your witness to that person will be immediately ineffective. Figure out who you are, what the unique personality is that God gave you; figure out where that intersects with His general will for us to live a life ‘set apart’ and to bring the gospel to all nations, and then live that, “like you mean it”. If even a small percentage of Christians were to live this way, we would see a world changed for the Lord in a single generation. Change the world for Christ, but do this through a life lived with intent, to the fullest, in His joy.

Live it folks, and be joyful when others live it, even if they don’t do it your way. Let me know if your “joy” in the Lord increases?

P.S. Read verse 16 in John 10 and let me know how many churches there are in God’s view? How should we act as a body in light of this?

Technorati Tags: body, christ, church, genuine, honest, individual, rebel

Concentric Circles of Importance

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:34-35

“..if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9

I am convinced that we – as Christians – make the central nucleus of theology far too complicated. The fact that we have many churches, and that they – most often purposefully – do not “get along”, is proof enough of this.

The verse in Romans above sums up the critical things needed for salvation, and the body of Christ is all those who are “in Him”. Would we not be better served to unite around these simple, joyful, things rather than concentrating on the beliefs where we are different? Keep the necessary core (salvation), and embrace each other in Christian love (as Christ commanded) and see what happens in the body of Christ.

At our Thursday evening Men’s Bible Study this week, I drew the circles you see in the graphic above, and printed out 50 or 60 Christian beliefs and doctrines on pieces of paper. We each took 5 or 6 of these and took turns around the table placing them in the circle where we felt they belonged, having discussions on several (most). This was an invigorating exercise and promoted a lot of discussion and thought around central tenets of the faith.. very heady and healthy stuff. We should know why we believe what we believe.

Here is the way I described the circles:

Essential for Salvation: These are the things that are – without question – required to become saved, according to Scripture. Hint: The verse from Romans  above sums it up fairly well.

Essential for Orthodoxy: These are the well-accepted beliefs of the Christian church. Think of these as the beliefs that one might hold in order to hold office in their local church. I am aware that churches have differing views of “orthodoxy”, but 80% – 90% of beliefs that end up in this circle are commonly accepted by Christian churches.

Important but not Essential: These are beliefs that a Christian really should hold (because they have a good base in Scripture) but they are not required for orthodoxy.

Not Important: These are beliefs that may or may not be common and have little bearing on Christian life and walk.

Pure Speculation: These are things that we think up and are not generally refuted by Scripture but certainly have no Scriptural base.

I would urge each reader of this post to think about each of the beliefs I’ve listed below, and think about where you would place them on the continuum of importance, and why. Don’t complicate the center circle with your current understanding of theology, with personal bias, or with the way you were raised; look at Scripture, study, and then – perhaps – move your beliefs in accordance with what you find.

• God is perfect
• God is omnipotent
• God is omnipresent
• There is only one God
• Trinity (three in one)
• God is sovereign
• God has always existed
• Christ was 100% man
• Christ is 100% God
• Christ came to earth
• Christ was born of a virgin
• Christ died
• Christ descended into Hades
• Christ was raised from the dead
• Christ ascended
• Christ will judge the living and the dead
• We cannot earn salvation
• We will be resurrected in the body
• Existence of free will
• Sin separates us from God
• Sin came into the world through Adam (and Eve)
• Christ will return to take us home
• We are all sinners, in birth and action
• We should attend church regularly
• We should express love one to the other
• Baptism
• Communion
• Existence of Paradise (where saints go when they die)
• Hades (where non-saints go when they die)
• Hell (the ultimate end of unsaved sinners)
• Heaven (where God and Christ are and where we will someday be)
• Living a good life
• Bible is inerrant in the original language
• Bible is inspired by God
• Avoid divorce
• Be a virgin when you marry
• Temperance in the body
• Demons exist and are numerous
• Spiritual warfare happens
• Role of women in the church
• Necessity of prayer
• Necessity of Bible study

Technorati Tags: love, salvation, unity

Laughlin NV Incident

A few years ago, a long-standing feud between the Hells Angels and the Mongols, two of the most notorious motorcycle clubs in the country, erupted in a bloody riot at a crowded Nevada casino. Dozens of shots were fired, several people were brutally beaten and stabbed, and when the dust cleared, three bikers were dead. Detectives recovered 14 guns, 107 knives, two hammers, two wrenches and nine flashlights from trashcans, slot machines and other places.

What can this incident teach us about outlaw motorcycle clubs, ourselves, and being a Christian man?

*This post in no way intends to portray any club as “outlaw” that does not intend to be and does not seek to be a complete and definitive source of information on any motorcycle club. For information on clubs directly from the club themselves, please see the end of this post for links.

WARNING: This is a LONG post.

First, let’s take a look at what outlaw motorcycle clubs are, and how one becomes a member.

While many people have tried to access the inner world of the “biker gang”, few are fully successful because getting in to one of the rougher gangs requires you to be incredibly ‘rough’, willing to break the law, and perhaps, willing to kill to defend the club. In addition, those that can get in don’t get out (they don’t get out untouched). Being in one of these gangs is a life commitment, and if you try to leave, they enforce the deal. This means that the knowledge we have of the gang is the perspective – largely – of an outsider looking in. We see what they do and how they act, and we have to infer from that what they are like. We do have statements from a few people who have been inside and told about their experiences before they died, and their words help us understand what this inner world is like.

There are many motorcycle clubs that follow the law. In fact, there are now many Christian motorcycle clubs that witness to other riders. There are four or five large outlaw clubs that now have chapters in many states and a few that have spread internationally.

The Pagans ride out of Delaware City, PA and have chapters in Florida, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Maryland. There are – at  last count – around 350-400 members.

The Bandidos ride out of Texas with chapters in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, New Mexico, Colorado, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Utah, Idaho, Nevada, Washington State, Oklahoma, Nebraska, and several other states. This club has a growing national and international presence.

The Mongols (referenced in the headline picture to this post) has its main presence in southern California. It also claims it has chapters in US states of Nevada, Oklahoma, Colorado, Arizona, Montana, Oregon, New York, Indiana, Florida and Virginia. They have 500 to 600 fully patched members.

The Outlaws ride out of McCook, Illinois and boast over 200 chapters nationally and internationally. They have an acronym “ADIOS”, which stands for, “[Hell's] Angels Die in Outlaw States”. Another acronym is “GFOD”, “God forgives, Outlaws Don’t” (and they don’t). The Outlaws claim chapters in Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia, and Wisconsin as well as many international chapters.

Finally, the Hell’s Angels. The Hells Angels were founded in the late 1940s or early 1950s in California, and probably came about due to an amalgamation or joining of different motorcycle clubs, such as the Boozefighters and the The POB of Bloomington. It is most commonly believed that the Hells Angels were originally formed in 1948 in Fontana, California. The Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club [HAMC] claims clubs in 29 countries and many states such as Alaska, Maryland, Massachusetts, Illinois, North Carolina, Arizona, Maine, Ohio, California, Colorado, South Carolina, Connecticut, Nevada, New Jersey, Arkansas, New Hampshire, Minnesota, New York, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Washington, and Nebraska.

NOTE: The chapter or charter list after each club listing is not definitive. For a club-sponsored list of chapters, visit each club’s web site as listed at the end of this article. That will also give you a look at their logo, as I will not link to logos or copy them here.

My intent in listing an approximate territory for each club is to demonstrate that there are several geographical areas where these clubs ‘overlap’, that is, there are states claimed by more than one club. Wearing ‘colors’ from one club can bring heat from another club that claims the same area (as we saw in the Laughlin example at the beginning of this post).

Colors

H-D patch

..are the logo patches that are worn on a vest. These patches are sacred, are not to be left alone and are to be defended, with violence if necessary. A motorcycle club has a three-part patch consisting of a top rocker, a logo, and a bottom rocker. The logo shows the club affiliation and is generally an evocative image that is designed to be immedately recognizeable and to leave an image in the viewers mind. The bottom rocker causes most of the trouble, as this panel shows the territory claimed by the club represented. The top rocker, given upon full membership (getting “patched”) holds the name of the club.

The “M.C.” patch designates the color-wearer as being a member of a ‘motorcycle club’. This – generally – means that this club claims territory, rather than just gathers to ride (which would be a “R.C.” or riders club).

Other patches include a “13″,  “81″, Ace of Spades, and “1%”. The 13 patch has some secrecy about it but most assume that it is related to drug use. The 81 is a reference to “H” & “A” (8th and 1st letters of the english alphabet), Hells Angels. You’ll hear “support your local 81″, and so on. The Ace of Spades generally means that the wearer is willing to defend himself and his colors with violence, to the death. A “666″ or “Filthy Few” patch indicates that the wearer has defended himself or the club with violence. The most notorious of the smaller patches, the “1%” patch is a reference back to the AMA statement – after an outlaw club incident – that 99% of all motorcycle clubs were law-abiding and caused no trouble. The 1% nomenclature was quickly adopted by outlaw clubs and is worn as a badge of honor.

There are also many phrases and customs that hold deep meaning for the outlaw motorcycle club member. Above all, respect – actively demonstrated – is of utmost concern to members, and a perceived lack of respect – to them or their club – is something that will most often result in direct and immediate physical consequences.

Phrases

• Get Wet – Bleed or get bled on
• TCB – Taking care of business (usually means violence done to uphold the honor of the club)
• Brother – A specific phrase that means a member of the club. You stand with them, fight for them, and ensure that other always respect them. This isn’t a simple term to be thrown around lightly.

Customs (Protocol)

Think of the ancient knight, and his code of conduct, and you will begin to get a picture of the modern M.C. member. I don’t mean to ascribe any more grandeur to the lifestyle than is warranted, but some things that we have lost over the years – as men – are embodied by the M.C. member. Yes, knights lived a time that was rougher, and they acted rougher. Their sense of honor was razor sharp and while seemingly arbitrary in places, you knew the rules, and you knew what would happen if you broke those rules.. and it wasn’t good. This section isn’t an attempt to give all the ‘rules’, and they vary by club, but overall, the #1 is “respect the club member”. Some interesting points of protocol:

• Don’t use the word outlaw when you are referring to bikers in a M.C. This is offensive.
• Don’t use the word ‘bro’ or ‘brother’. This is a specific term, reserved by a member for another member
• Don’t shake a member’s hand or touch them in any way, until they offer their hand, no physical contact. Under no circumstance are you to touch a member’s colors.
• If you know someone in the club, don’t ‘name drop’ and act like you are buddies, even if you are. This can be considered an affront to the entire club.
• Don’t wear anything that looks like ‘colors’ into areas that are marked ‘no colors’.

It is often said that joining an outlaw motorcycle club will ‘replace’ your life; that you will lose your wife, your previous identify, your friends, and perhaps other material things (car, house, etc). It is true that the club becomes the most important thing to you – or you won’t ever be a full member – but the reason that you lose other things is primarily because of the things that you do, the actions that you perform, in order to be a member in good standing with the club (activities that are either illegal or viewed by many to be past the line of temperance). In order to become a member, you must first prove that you are a bad bad man, and willing to continue to be bad.

Membership

Different clubs have different methods, but – in general – clubs have a tiered process for membership in which a new recruit moves through varying levels of trust and standing with the club. When loyalty and dedication to the club have been proven to stand the test of time – and sometimes other more direct tests – membership may be granted.

Hang-Around
This is the first level of association where a recruit is not actively ‘run off’ but becomes a regular fixture around the clubhouse, buys goods from the clubhouse, and becomes recognizable to all members, and sometimes even to outsiders. This phase can last months and even multiple years.

Prospect
Most clubs require that a hang-around be sponsored by a member. This is the last step before membership. Prospects do a lot of the “grunt work” on rides and events, and prove to the membership that they are loyal and dedicated. Some clubs may require more direct evidence of loyalty. This phase lasts at least one year in most clubs. Not all prospects wear patches, but all members know who the prospects are. Most clubs require prospects to attend church (chapter meetings) and all events.

Member
The process of getting your top rocker – and sometimes club logo – is known as “getting patched”. This is the initiation into full club membership. A member in full standing has the top rocker with the club name, a middle patch that has the logo of the club, and a bottom rocker that designates territory. Always remember that – in motorcycle clubs – colors are earned, not bought. Remember this because it is something to be respected, or remember it because it will save your hide; but remember it. All members must attend church (chapter meetings) and events, unless they are quite sick.

So, how does this all apply to us, as Christian men?

As I noted in the narrative above, many of the things that these clubs hold to are things that we have lost as Christian men. We have been told for a hundred years that fighting back, voicing a strong opinion, being confrontative, and making statements about morality that are absolute are all ‘bad’ and should be avoided. We have been turned into a milk-toast version of what men used to be. The men we have become could not have tamed the West, gotten gold out of the California mountains, and certainly could not have carved this nation out of a wild continent, with or without English opposition. Before I get off on a rant here.. let’s have a look at the parallels between membership in a “biker club” and being a Christian.

“Clubs”

Rather than get along, most Christians concentrate on what divides them and what differences they have in orthodoxy and orthopraxy (teaching and behavior). This is how we get so many divisions and denominations in the body of Christ, and how churches split and recombine, with hurt on both sides. Motorcycle clubs concentrate – in large part – on what territory they control, and our modern church often boasts of “membership numbers”, where we have satellite churches, how many are in our “conference” vs. other denominations, and so on. Why do we fracture into so many denominations, sects, and churches when Christ calls us to unity? (1 Cor. 3:2-7, John 17:20-21, 1 Cor 10:17, Eph 2:20, Eph 4:3-6). Just as we shudder at the thought of what might happen if all outlaw motorcycle clubs banded together as one, so must Satan shudder at the power that would be unleashed in the world if Christians followed God’s Word in Ephesians 4, “..with all lowliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love; giving diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one Faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in all”.

Colors

Here’s where we – as Christians – get to appear all high and mighty, right? We don’t wear colors, we are ‘normal’ people. Really? Walk into an evangelical or traditional church in road wear, perhaps with an earring or two and some ink, and let me know how it works out for you. The sensitivity to this varies based on the local church family, but I dressed “to the nines” once, suit, tie, the whole deal, and the woman from the couple in front of me turned around and said, “thank you for dressing like you’re entering the presence of the King”. The direct implication here is that anything less – such as what I wear regularly – would be unworthy of the King. This – of course – makes me ask, “Wait, doesn’t my King want me to dress in the uniform of my position in His kingdom? I am a warrior for Christ, and hard-edged knight, not a noble in the court. I AM dressed as He would have me dress”. Again.. in danger of getting off on a rant. How about crosses, crucifixes, the “fish”, and the like? Aren’t these all “patches” that indicate our affiliation with The Way? My Bible cover is digital camouflage, with the statement “Soldier of the Lord” woven in; isn’t that much like a back patch? Some would say that their suit is their “church uniform”. As Christians, our “colors” should be obvious to all, without anything being worn or displayed. We should be “obvious” by our actions, the way we treat others, and the way we love one another. As St. Francis of Assisi exhorted, “Wherever you go, preach Christ; and if necessary, use words”.

Phrases

We don’t have any special “code words” or phrases, right? Things that we say that have meanings only to Christians? Let me give you a short list of things that we commonly say (outside of the ‘Lord’ or ‘Father’ every third word in a prayer said by an Evangelical or the fact that Lutherans have to have any phrase said, and then they repeat it), and you tell me whether or not we have our own little language.

• Let me pray about it – “NO”, but I am passive-aggressive and not brave enough to tell you “No” to your face; besides, saying “no” just isn’t Christian.
• We have a prayer request – I need a legal way to tell you about this incredibly juicy piece of gossip!
• God gave me a word for you – I am about to tell you how to live your life, but I want it couched in such a way that I don’t appear in the equation anywhere.
• God is good – My life sucks and I am going to tell you all about it, right now. Get a pot of coffee.
• I possess the gift of discernment - I can judge you without even meeting you or spending any time with you.
• I am saved by grace – I can do whatever I want.
• I have Christian freedom – and there’s nothing you can say about it.
• I don’t mean to judge – but I am going to, right now, and you’re gonna listen.
• I am dating Jesus right now – I couldn’t even get a blind date.
• God wants me to focus on Him for a while – I am too much a wuss to break up with you properly, or, I have found someone else.
• God wants me to marry you – Perhaps I can manipulate you into saying “yes” if you think it’s God’s idea.
• God has called me to minister to her – Boy is she hot!
• I think you should pray about it – and you’ll come ’round to see that I’m right.
• Have I offended you? - I know I offended you, but it’s your weakness that allows this, not my incredible rudeness or unChristian attitude.
• God has blessed us with so much - we’re rich, and want to throw it in your face (well, pretty much anyone’s face), but we know that just isn’t Christian.

Customs (Protocols)

I guess I’d look at things like the process of the church service, intercessory prayer on your knees, rosary, congregational prayer, Communion, baptism, hymns, sermon last thing before “out the door”, and such things as “protocol” in the Christian church. Not associating with “unbelievers” is the mark of many churches and sects. In my Adventist upbringing, we could wade in the water on Sabbath, but not past our knees (no swimming). Many Christians are obese and eat cheese, eggs, mayo and sugar with abandon, but then judge others for smoking and drinking. Most churches have a set of unwritten rules about appearance, behavior, and so on. All of these are “unwritten rules” about church behavior. Mind you, none of these are necessarily “Christian” behavior as far as Christ is concerned. We learn these things quickly when we begin attending and then do them, and they become second nature. We become unaware that we are doing them and scoff when others ask about the “culture” of the church.

Membership

The parallels here are amazing. Here are two clubs (“saved” Christians and outlaw motorcycle clubs) where you have to admit/prove you are a bad person to get in. Not only that, but you have to have a Sponsor! In my Reformed view, I believe that our paths are already charted as Christians, and becoming “saved” is only the first step on a journey of sanctification. The journey from Hang-Around through Prospect to Member parallels – very eerily – the way that we initiate men into Men’s Ministry at our local church.

There are many things – as Christian men – that we can learn from motorcycle clubs; in fact, I would find it personally very satisfying if we could raise our church – or even just men’s – attendance to HALF the rate of an average motorcycle club. We can also learn what loyalty is, and how to give other members of “the club” our support and help. We can learn to overcome Adam’s original sin of passivity, and deal with things assertively and directly, rather than allowing laziness and apathy erode our manliness to the point where we are willing to let life pass by, as long as it demands nothing from us.

Look in the mirror Christian men of America; do you have what it takes to be an Outlaw for the Lord?

—— Links ——

http://www.hells-angels.com/

http://www.outlawsmc.com/

http://www.bandidosmc.dk/

http://www.mongolsmc.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pagans_MC (could not find main web site)

Technorati Tags: biker, motorcycle club, outlaw

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley (British Poet, 1875)

Ah yes, the poem that Timothy McVeigh uttered as the execution drugs began flowing into his veins. Americans love this poem. Men love this poem. We grunt like Tim the Toolman Taylor at the dark overtones and the protagonists unquenchable spirit. We are gripped with emotion at the last two lines, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. “Invictus”, unconquered! Deep emotion, passion, and strength; good stuff.

Small problem though, it isn’t true.

We are no more than bit players in our fate, and – indeed – sometimes in our lives. Almost anyone can tell you a story that demonstrates, regardless the energy they’ve poured into a thing, that the endeavor failed or didn’t turn out they way they desired. It is a great thing to remain unbowed by circumstance, but understand, you are not the captain of your soul.

Firstly, you ‘are’ your soul and you don’t ‘own’ it. It was given to you at conception by God. In Genesis we read the account of Adam and his body being brought to life by the in-breathing of God. That soul creates human life and when you die, it goes back ‘somewhere’. (We can discuss the ‘somewheres’ in another post).

Secondly, the Bible explains that we can serve only one of two masters. We will love the one and hate the other, or vice versa. Those two masters are Satan and God. One of the two of them is the master of your soul if by master you mean something like, “That entity that determines influences on my thinking and being”.

Now, ‘fate’. I take this to mean the final disposition of my soul, not the meandering walk that we each take here on earth. Folks, we aren’t even in full control of the smallest things here on earth. Tend a garden, farm for a living, repair cars or computers, raise a teenager.. you find that we cannot control anything here. It’s like grasping water and gripping it harder and harder; the harder you grasp, the less you are holding on to. If we have this little control over corporeal things, what makes us think that we have any effect on our place in the afterlife!? The final disposition of our soul, our fate, is simple.. it is directly tied to the master of our soul while we are here.

So, what does God desire of us then? It is clear that the dark and foreboding terms of the poem draw us because we see this darkness on earth, but I think that God would like us to focus ever upward and bring some Light to the earth while we are here. As far as mindset goes, I think He wants us to be lion-hearted and full of courage, but He wants that courage to be placed in our knowledge that He is the Captain of our soul. I think that He wants us to remain humble (humilis) in the knowledge that we can do nothing of eternal significance without Him, and that we are part of a much greater Plan that He has for this planet. Micah 6:8 does a great job of outlining what God desires of us in terms of mindset and approach.

Don’t falter, be of courage, place your faith in Him, and walk among others with humility. Be conquered, by Christ. Humilis, not Invictus.

Technorati Tags: fate, god, humble, invictus, unconquered

With sixteen bikes of varying types, single riders, passengers, and ecumenical diversity, our first ride was a great example of what “the church” should look like! Regardless church of record, manufacturer of bikes, color of bike, style of bike, or age of rider, we all love the same thing and are united because of that. That love for the open road can be likened to our love for Christ as the head of the church. A common love for the road and riding brought us together for this ride, and a love of Christ – the head of the church – brings us together as Christians. Just as we rode together with different makes of bikes, so the church works together with a mix of people and gifts. We don’t all have to look the same, act the same, and do the same things to be critical to the function of the church body. I hope that this annual ride continues to provide a metaphor for the body of Christ, welcoming all gifts, and ministering to those not yet part of the body.

Our ride began at Highland Community Church in Wausau, WI at 13:00, Sunday Sept 21st. Our ride took us to Merrill, WI.. then along Hwy 107 to Tomahawk, WI. Our route then took us over several country roads around small lakes and beautiful autumn scenery through Harrison Hills to Hwy 17 and then on to Rhinelander, WI. We stopped there and had a takeout dinner at Culver’s.

We sat on the grass and ate our food as we chatted about the ride so far, getting to know one another and fellowshipping. We then had a short devotional on Peter’s walk on the water called “Get out of the Boat”. Basically, this talk outlined the idea that while we make fun of Peter sinking while losing faith, there were 11 other guys just sitting in the boat. Christ isn’t in the boat, He’s out on the water. Jump in and start walking toward Christ. The boat feels safe, but if you aren’t making tracks toward Christ, safe just isn’t good enough. Take the next step and get your feet wet.

We returned through Tomahawk along Hwy 8 and 107 to Merrill, and then back to Wausau. 160 miles, great scenery, great company, fellowship, and a desire to make it a yearly event… we call that a success! Here are some pictures to show you the group and the ride.

Our Group in the Highland Parking lot ready to leave

Mr. Mitch Cooper with our Safety Briefing

All right, let me set the scene; Jews had legends about night spirits and believed these were a bad omen. It’s between three and six in the morning, and the wind has been prevailing against the boat most of the night, pushing it away from the shore. We find – in the book of Mark – that they had rowed three and a half miles and were still in the middle of the lake. They see Christ walking on the water, and don’t even believe it’s Him when He calls to them. Peter tells God to call to him personally, and then walks out to meet Him. How many times do we do this? We feel a tugging at our heart that – if we are quiet, in prayer, and honest with ourselves – we KNOW is God calling us to do a specific thing, but our fears get in the way and we “test” the Lord? I have a great example for you married men. You and your wife have had a disagreement, maybe it wasn’t even an animated one, and it is now getting toward evening. You feel like you should “say something”, being that you are to treat your wife gently, as a treasured and fine vessel, but boy did she get you going! You are almost unable to look at her let alone start a conversation with, “Sweetheart I’m sorry I was not gentle with you and I cherish you. Can we pray together before we go to bed”? You justify yourself with conversation in your own mind, before the Lord Himself, saying that “she started it”, or, “sometimes love is direct”, or, “none of my side of the conversation was untrue”. Guys, He is the Lord, and He justifies you, you don’t justify yourself in His eyes no matter how “right” you think you were.

So, Peter walks out to meet the Lord and as soon as something takes his focus off the Lord, he begins to sink. Peter notices the wind and waves, ignores the fact that he has been chosen by and is serving the Lord, and the waves overtake him and he cries for help. Again, how many times do we forget that we serve an Almighty God? How many times are we so taken up by things that are in the “here and now” and forget that we are strangers in a strange land? Some of you may have been in the study of Mark a couple of years ago. We talked about the disciples and how they were dense and never did “get it”. Well guys, some of us aren’t even disciples yet! We have to treat this life as though our every action has eternal consequence, because it does. Every step we take here moves the Kingdom ahead, or it moves it back. We have to remain focused on our calling and our King as we walk on the water.

So, Jesus feeds the five thousand with a boy’s lunch, has likely already raised the little girl, healed the bleeding woman, and turned water into wine. Not only is Peter afraid of Christ as He walks on the water, but as Peter walks to Him, he screams for help as he sinks! This guy never will get it, will he? Now, we sure do love to make fun of the redneck disciple, Peter, don’t we? He’s brash, angry, and does stuff we get to laugh at. He, quite frankly, makes us feel better about ourselves! Here’s the thing guys, put yourself in Peter’s shoes and look back at the boat for a second; there’s eleven guys sittin’ there! Peter might be messing up, but he was brave enough to get out the boat!

If we look at the first sin that a man committed on this earth, what do we find? Some will say, “Eating the apple”, but that wasn’t the first sin Adam committed. His first – and most grievous – sin was to stand idly by while Eve was tempted and took a bite of the apple. Passivity was Adam’s first sin, and man has been struck by a strong tendency to do nothing since then. When King David got in trouble with Bathsheba, it was because his men had gone off to war without him. He was not leading them, got bored, went to the rooftop and was tempted, all because he failed to be active in his life and leadership.

Action is rewarded by God, even if it isn’t perfect. This does not mean that we should be impetuous, but we should be prepared. If we look at the story of Abraham and Isaac we are tempted to think that God told Abraham to kill his son and Abraham said, “right on it”, and left for the mountain without thinking. The reason that Abraham could act so quickly was because he had already been tested by the Lord, had decided to follow him in all things, and then when confronted with a hard choice, acted quickly because he understood his values and the leading of the Lord. When the shepherd boy David heard the boasts and taunts of the giant, why did he offer to fight? It wasn’t impetuous and stupid, David knew that the Lord led Israel and that what the giant was doing was wrong! He didn’t think about the consequences because he knew he was in the right, he was doing the will of the Lord? Do each of us know that we are in the will of the Lord? Can we act with decisiveness and boldness because we are doing what is right? Have we taken the time with the Bible and in prayer to know our Lord’s leading in our lives?

I have a secular quote that I’ll share with you here. It is attributed to Teddy Roosevelt and is likely on one of those “Successories” posters, but I feel it’s relevant just the same.

Men, I think that sums up well the point of the message today. Don’t sit in the boat and laugh at the guy that’s brave enough to take the next step toward the Lord. Get out the boat!

Technorati Tags: boat, passivity, peter, water

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4% of men ages 16-24 in America attend church regularly.

Since the Industrial Revolution, the involvement of men in the church has declined in a cyclical pattern, but with a steady pace. What will a church with no men look like? The world gives us some answer today, in that more and more children are being raised without a father in their lives. Did you know that over 28% of children in America today are being raised without a father in the home? Did you know that in the African-American community that this number jumps to 63% ? The impact of this is recognized in our sinful world, but we’ve refused to see the implications for our church. A son who is absent a father between the ages of 14 and 22 has his risk of incarceration increase 5% for every year he lives without a father. Children who live in a home without a father are 32% more likely to smoke, drink, or use illegal drugs than children in a two-parent home. Girls raised without a father present have sex for the first time an average of 1.6 years earlier than girls raised with a father present. It is clear, even in secular society, that father-presence is critical. What about our church?
Statistics show that if a child is brought to church regularly throughout his childhood by its mother, and the father does not attend, that the likelihood of that child attending church regularly as an adult is around 2%. If the father takes the children to church, that percentage jumps to 33%.

Folks, God has given men the call to spiritually lead their families. I don’t pretend to know why spirituality has been designed to be passed on by men, but I read Scripture that says that it has and the numbers bear it out in practice. I also see that men are leading at an ever declining rate and that leadership cannot be based only on speech, but on practice. Brennan Manning says, “The greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who claim Christ with their lips, and then walk out the door and deny Him with their lifestyle”.  Learning is a wonderful thing, but I am already educated well beyond my obedience. We must do what God reveals to us in His word as we read and pray; learning it isn’t enough.

Deut 6:4-9 gives a wonderful overview of what it takes to pass on spiritual concepts and a more complete picture of our Savior to your family. Jewish culture at that time had a son learning a trade from his father and women working together in the home all day, every day. That kind of dedicated time made for an environment where a father’s actions were seen and mimicked on a more regular basis than today. Now a child only sees Dad when he gets home from work, grumpy and snapping at Mom, and that’s what they emulate. Let it not be so in our homes. Men, we must model a good relationship for our children. The way you treat your wife is the way that your son will treat his wife, and the way that your daughters will accept treatment from a man. Do you realize how powerful that is? I know you might be the “big dog” at work, and have the ability to change some things there, but in your daily example to your children, you have the power to change the world.

I just returned from a men’s conference in Elmbrook, WI called “No Regrets”, A Life of Significance. This conference had 5,000 men gathering to fellowship, learn, and share about the Christian life as a man. What does a life of “No Regrets” look like? In 1 Cor 3:11-15 we read about a man building a life on the foundation of Jesus Christ, and that the Day will bring his work to light. In verse 15 we read about a life of regrets, “..he will be saved, but only as a man escaping through the flames”. A life of No Regrets ends with the words, “Well done thou good and faithful servant, enter now into the glory of thy Maker”. A life of significance is a life spent on service, focused on bringing others closer to Him and preparing for heaven. A life of significance recognizes this existence as a blink between eternities and gives it that same weight in our minds. A man that is living a life of significance can be recognized, because he is doing something about it.

Men, we have been given hands to work, feet to move, and our behinds are there to hold our legs on; not to sit with. Get off your blessed assurance, rise today and lead your family in Christ, affect your place of work for Christ,  and train yourself into the heart of God through prayer and reading the Word. In 2028 my son will be 31, and if we as Christian men commit to living lives of significance, we will still be in a vibrant and healthy church, full of men living lives of example in the power of the Lord.

“Wherever you go, preach Christ; and if necessary, use words” – Francis of Assisi

Technorati Tags: husband, men, spiritual leadership

There was a big football game over at Lambeau field a couple weeks back. Some of you may have seen it on TV? “NFC Championship Game” or something like that… the outcome wasn’t reasonable, but anyhow, at this game it was wind chill down to -15, -20 or so. I watched the game, and I saw people in the stands taking off their coats, their shirts, and their t-shirts and dancing around half-naked in that weather? What on earth makes a person able to do that!?

One word: Drunkenness. Being drunk enables us to do things that we could not otherwise have done. Some would argue that this actually removes good mental barriers and lets us to “stupid” stuff, but the fact remains that you do things drunk that you would not otherwise have done.

So what’s my point? Well, the analogy is, if we want to do things in our Christian life that we cannot normally do, we have to become drunk with the Spirit! In that state, we will be able to do things that we would not normally be able to do. Now I am not – necessarily – advocating that you should immediately get yourself to a charismatic church, but I suggest that we each pray the power of the Holy Spirit into our lives on a regular basis. It will change what we can do for others and what kingdom work God can accomplish here through us. Ask God to empower you in His Spirit, and you will begin to forcefully advance His kingdom here on earth.
That is all. As you were.

References: Ephesians 5:18 Matthew 11:12

First, the work mattered, it was necessary. Once they began to stand up and rebuild the walls, they ran into opposition. They had to finish the walls because those walls would protect them against the people they had angered. When our ministry begins to be effective, we see the same thing from the Evil One, do we not? They began the work because Nehemiah was led by God to do so, and they finished because they knew the work was critical; it mattered.

Second, the people knew who Nehemiah was, and what he could be doing. This Jew was the cup-bearer to the king. Now that may not sound like much to you and me, but this was the most trusted person in the king’s retinue. The queen wasn’t trusted like this man, and neither were his closest advisors. This man – quite literally – held the king’s life in his hands. He was present at every secret meeting, at every public meeting, was always at the side of the king. He knew the king more intimately than the king’s wife or mother. From this, Nehemiah came to do the Lord’s work for Israel. His people knew this, and respected his commitment and sacrifice.

So, for those of us in ministry (incidentally that is to be every Christian), this example gives us a pretty clear mirror, doesn’t it?  Are we too tied to this world? Do we focus on Kingdom work or on the difficulties in the here and now? Do we put in a reasonable effort, or do we have a ridiculous commitment to the Lord’s work?

In every ministry, the ultimate goal is to plant the seed of the Gospel in people’s lives. Do we understand the stakes? Folks, it does not get more important than giving people the key to eternal life and then participating with them in it. Let us all get up each morning realizing – in a tangible way – that we are but visitors here and that our reward is with our God in the hereafter. Let us share the Gospel with others so that we may – together with them – praise our Lord together someday in heaven.

I want you to do a short imagination exercise with me. Imagine that we have just arrived in heaven with Christ and we are, for the first time, standing on the Sea of Glass and raising our voices to praise the God who saved us. In this place of angels, our Lord, and His unending light, you can look to your right and to your left, to the front and to the back; and you can recognize tens, hundreds, maybe thousands of people in whom your ministry planted the seed of the Gospel which the Holy Spirit then nurtured to maturity. They are here because you knew the Lord’s work was necessary, and because you set the things of this earth aside to minister to them. With that awesome image in mind, let us make a ridiculous commitment to our efforts here, on an earth that is a mere shadow of what is to come.

First, we get right back to parenting. For young women, they get their identity as a woman from their father. What I mean is, they learn how to expect love and how to love men from their father. If he is absent, they often become promiscuous as they search for love and acceptance from men. If he is coarse, mean, and surly, they often become very passive in their relationships with men, turning into “doormats” and living in very subservient relationships. A present, gentle but firm, and loving father does not guarantee a well-adjusted, chaste daughter, but it is incredibly rare to find the latter without the former.

How a father interacts with women and how he treats his wife shows his son how to treat women when he strikes out on his own. If a father treats the wife as a second-class citizen, not listening to her opinions, mocking her, or making generally derogatory comments about women, the son can be expected to view women as less than men and will subsequently treat them as such. If a father womanizes, the son further learns to “use” women, that they are expendable, and that you need to protect yourself – not your wife – at all times. If a father is present, treats his wife like a queen, and avoids illicit contact with other women it does not guarantee a son that will champion for women and treat them well, but again, you’ll almost never find the latter without the former.

Second, methods like abortion (“emergency contraception” contained therein) actually cause men to be more promiscuous. It is a well known fact that men deal with things when they become emergencies, and generally not before that time. Retroactive methods like abortion are “custom built” for men because it allows them to be completely irresponsible and then deal with an “issue” when it “becomes an issue”. Men need to act in such a way that they measure the impact of their actions well in advance of the action, rather than taking a radical “fix it” approach when the action invariably results in an “issue”.

Third,  men are personally putting direct pressure on their women to abort. A common statement is, “If you carry this child in defiance of my desire for you to abort, I will break up with you, I will never pay a penny for the child, and no man will ever want you again”. What the man is really saying is, “I don’t want a child because they scare me and I am too immature to deal with one, I am fearful of the situation and will therefore control you to control it, I have no respect for your wishes and am willing to break your soul in half to protect myself, and I am the only man that is willing to keep you because I will know your dirty little secret”.

Girls, listen to me carefully; while I am fully sold out for committed, two-parent families,  that guy is not what you need or want, regardless your decision to abort or keep the child. What you desire and deserve to have – regardless your prior decisions in life – is a man who will hold you up, who will protect your heart and soul, and who has enough faith in you to say, “I am here for you, whatever you do”, and then follows through on that promise.

Men, if you are that guy, please change. You may be overcoming a huge past, you might be the first male in your family to become a man, but please change. A better world is not built by men who protect themselves before others and who tear down their women to do it. A real man does not act that way, and I am begging you to be more than that. You can be a good father, and a good husband – as frightening a world as that seems – and building that life
results in lasting value. It’s a challenge, and you are up to it.

Finally, guys, if you are married, engaged, or related to a woman who has had an abortion; you need to know that this has lasting effects on her. Sexual intimacy can be tainted with bloodguilt, relationship intimacy can be destroyed by a lack of trust in men, and moral guidance can be lacking because of unresolved guilt without forgiveness. She needs your strength and she needs your accepting love. Healing from this experience takes a long time, but it is possible, and it is made easier with a man who is understanding and gentle.

And to those women who have been told that a man will not marry a single woman with a child, I’m here to tell you that is a lie. I married a single woman with a two-year old child, and that precious little girl is my eldest daughter (of three children) and she’ll be sixteen in a couple of weeks.

The husband in this example was controlling, petty, and dismissive and the rules of the home did not apply to him but were liberally applied to all others. I would suggest that this man is in all of us, and I would exhort men to stand up and be more than a male. Be what God designed you to be, for Him, for your wife, for your church, and for your children…

Men today don’t know a lot of things. They are not being raised with any sense of “manhood” (what it means to be a man). We try to make our little boys act like little girls, and when they don’t, we give them Ritalin and sit them in the front of the class and hold them in from recess. Worse than this, we don’t tell boys when “manhood” begins. There is no rite of passage, no understanding of, “From this day forth, you shall be considered a man”. Childhood used to last until age 18 (maximum), now – for many men – it lasts through a young man’s 20′s and into his 30′s. How many of you have spoken with women who’s sons still live in the basement at age 29, playing video games for a living? “Johnny’s still at home, but we’re praying for him”. He doesn’t need only prayer, he needs Dad to drag him outside and make him work!

How is it that we are not teaching our sons to be men? Well, I’d posit that there are two primary reasons for this. First, we don’t spend any time with them and second, we don’t know how to be men ourselves. It once was that a son would apprentice with his father (or another man) and would learn alongside them about the trade, and as a result, would also pick up critical things about what a man does all day, how he acts, and how he treats others. Today, we run off to work and our son goes to school. When our boy comes home he sits in front of the TV or a video game while we engage in our hobby without him or go work out at the gym. This teaches little Johnny how to live in Mom’s basement later on, not how to become a man! We don’t know how to be men because we’re the first generation raised wholly in a post-modern world. Even if you were raised by solid parents, the world has eaten at you, claiming its apathetic margin at every stage of your life, telling you that every belief is equal, and children should be allowed to run free and do as they like. You don’t know how to raise a man because your past didn’t make you into one!

What does your wife need? I don’t mean, “What’s your perception of what you needy wife whines about all the time”? I mean, what does the creature to whom you’ve pledged to have and to hold, to cherish… what does she NEED!? Do you hold her face in your hands, gently stroke her hair, talk with her gently about life, love, and your children? Or do you leer at her, rolling your eyes when she asks you to remove your shoes in the mud room, chuckle under your breath and find secret enjoyment when the kids misbehave to her? Do you sacrifice for her, picking up around the house, making her tea in the evening, helping make the bed in the morning, looking for what burdens you can remove from her or do you plop down in front of the TV when you get home and look for someone, anyone, to bring you a drink? When she wants to do a certain thing around the house, make an expenditure,etc. do you mock or control her? Or do you revel in the fact that you have a capable and brave wife that handles her household with grace and courage?

Men, our wives need us, but they don’t need what we’ve become; they need what God created us to be. They need kings that will treat them like queens, they need warriors that will treat them with gentleness and kindness, they need friends that will listen and care, and they need partners that will shoulder the emotional burdens of life together with them. Care for your wives men… that does not mean, “bring home a check”, the active verb is “care”. First care for her, and then – through daily action – care for her. Protect her heart and champion her cause and I promise you, you’ll begin to see a queen that is radiant and fulfilled.

What do your kids need? They need presence. They need to see you live life, interacting with others and making decisions. They need specific training, yes; but more important is to let them see who you are as you live life as a man. Your daughters need touching, love, and time. If you don’t give them this often, they will soon find another male to give it to them, and trust me when I tell you that you don’t want that. Your sons need to understand what work is, what sacrifice is, and why we do both of these things. Both genders need to understand our view of – and relationship to – God and what “life” looks like outside the family. Your children should be able to express emotion in a safe environment and should know that no matter what they do, they are still your child and that you love them (this does not make a statement about consequence).

Men, this is a country filled with guys who don’t have great adventure in life; they watch them in movies. Men don’t play many sports anymore, they watch football on TV. Men don’t take the time and energy to be lovers to their wives, they watch porn on the internet. Men don’t live life in their role 24 hours a day anymore, they go to work, come home and go into a TV or computer world, expecting their wives to pick up the “slack”. I encourage you not to be this man! 

So, how do we do it? Simple. We stamp out only three things and add one. The three are, lust, pride, and selfishness. That’s it, three little things. (for those of you who don’t know me, this would be tongue-in-cheek humor).

Lust
This one is a killer fellas. It’s a part of selfishness but with guys, it needs its own little category (and coffin). Your wife whom the Lord gave you and with whom you should take your joy, is the only woman that you should be expending any emotional energy on. You’ve all seen sitcoms or movies where the man puts a centerfold up on the bedstead to get excited with his wife, and we laugh and say that’s pathetic, but we each do this exact same thing. If you have ever slept with a woman that is not your wife, watched a movie with pornographic content, viewed a magazine with scantily clad (or unclad) women, or lusted after another woman in your heart; it is incredibly likely that you are bringing these images to mind, and that is being unfaithful to your wife! More than this, since we’ve likely masturbated to these images or thoughts, we will bring back these memories with our wives in the moment that God designed us to be only with one another, while we are making love. Can you begin to see why pornography and pre-marital sex are a huge problem? We men are visual and we remember visually. This is not helpful when we are trying to focus on our wife. I would suggest that you drive out thoughts and images of other women, and this takes a long time to do, but it is worth it. I would further suggest that you slow your sexual pace down to a point where you do not need to conjure up images to “get excited” but are already so full of anticipation that you can focus fully on your wife without bringing other women into your mind. On another note, this pace may be more naturally in line with your wife’s pace, but we can discuss that theory another time.

Pride
You don’t always have to “win”, to be “right”, to be the “Big Dog”. Let others have their time in the sun as well. It’s your job to build self-confidence in your children, not to tear it down. You are to hold up you wife, not make her question her sanity. Stop the belittling comments and the desire to make others look bad. Instead, build others up verbally, assuming that they already are what they could become, and then watch them become that. Suck it up, and take your part of the blame (and stop there). When you are confronted with an issue in life, stop trying to find out “who’s fault it was”. Investigate only YOUR part of it and how to avoid it the next time or how you might act in a more honorable manner if faced with the same situation again.

Selfishness
Newsflash fellas, it isn’t all about you! It’s about her and the kids. Set yourself aside and look for what you can do to serve your family. If I hear even one of you complain, “I’ve had a long day at work and I deserve to sit down”, I swear I’ll come to your place and exhort you to excellence personally and vigorously. Her day started before yours and will end after yours, and she’ll give more of herself than you will. You don’t “deserve” to sit down, she does. Change your attitude and approach. Let her sit and put her feet up. Bring her tea and do the dinner dishes for her. I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO, THAT’S THE ENTIRE POINT!!! Set yourself aside and put her in the place she deserves, in your heart, mind, and in the home. She is your queen. As a side note, the kids quickly pick up on this and become people with servant-hearts as well.

The One Thing
This blog is heavy in “Christian” metaphor and belief, and that is because I believe that what we do here is temporary and preparatory for an eternity with He who created us. The changes suggested in this post will help any man with his wife and kids, but the real change comes when we open our hearts to the Good News, filling ourselves with the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work in us to change us. The other three do not fall away without a fight, but you need strength to put away the old and bring in the new, and Christ will give that strength.

Cowboy up, men! There is a world full of sons that don’t know what a man is or does, daughters that are looking for love, and wives that need us to be present and accounted for. Hear the challenge and rise to it.

I had an incredibly interesting experience at Bible Study this morning and would like to share. If you feel led to comment, I’d be overjoyed to hear your thoughts!

Background:
Our Men’s Ministry holds several Bible studies and two of those are on Thursday morning. I have been leading the one that meets “every” Thursday at 6am. These are most often book-of-the-bible studies, but the current study is a topical study currently covering “theology proper”, the study of God. We are in a section about the “less communicable” attributes of God (He is eternal, independent, etc). We have 3-6 men each Thursday morning that are regular attenders. We are an EV Free church that is incredibly biblically focused (edification) and Spirit-led (without being “charismatic”).

This Morning:
We were continuing a study on God, and – as a topical study – we were looking up specific verses and discussing what we [I]could know [/I]of God in order to get a better appreciation of His love for us (He delights in us). The end goal of this section is to take our joy in worshipping/glorfying Him and to take our sense of self-worth in the fact that He chooses to delight in us. A new fellow came to the study this morning, as well as two regular attenders and myself.

The newcomer greeted me with a very liturgical and direct greeting, something like, “I appear here in the spirit of Jesus Christ the Cornerstone, in the blessing of the blood, water, and spirit”.. and so on. It was all very formal and a little “weird”, but I introduced myself, welcomed him and 5-10 minutes later, started the study. This gentleman proceeded to attack the method of study (taking verses out of context) and my approach to the study (interpreting verses for the rest of us). He then stated that he only listened to the direct voice of God and not to men. He insisted on telling us his life story throughout the study, which included divorce, being booted out of the formal ministry, and being involuntarily locked up in psychiatric wards three different times.

I answered him in the topical study assertion with, “I believe that there is value in a topical study – as Christ did with His parables – and I would say that one must be responsible when preparing that study to read the context and book/chapter as a whole, before pulling out a verse. We are careful here at (our church) to perform exegesis rather than eisegesis on our texts, and I appreciate your caution and guidance where topical studies are concerned. Context is critical.”

On the point about interpretation, I discussed the point that I attempt to – on a regular basis – set myself aside and let God shine through, and that the format (small group) promoted and rewarded the personal interaction of all the members (rather than me teaching, it is thought to be participative), but that there needed to be some structure and accomplishment rather than just three or four guys chatting about life… this is why we pray the Spirit into the room and ask for wisdom and guidance.

Finally, I discussed the fact that I believe that theology happens in community. It is very unlikely that we can come to a full understanding of God (or other theological points) without discussing and studying those with others. If we do hear the voice of God, we certainly learn from that, but that is not a full-time or “normative” opportunity for most of us.

He asked for prayer since his second wife has asked him for a divorce, and we ended the study at 7am. WHEW!!!

The Man:
This man was married to a saint of a woman and had seven children (in Neb). When he was first diagnosed (likely bipolar) and was put away, he began to believe that all medical personnel, especially those in the psychiatric field, were evil and Satan’s minons (I’ve been tempted to feel that way myself) The strain of his various issues ended his first marriage and six of his children still try to help their father reconnect to reality and to them.

His brother still interacts with him regularly, though he is at a loss for how to help. This man refuses medical attention and medication and feels it is his calling to be a spiritual advisor to pretty much anyone and it is his calling to make people feel uncomfortable with their faith.

This man’s second wife has now asked him for a divorce and a local church will allow him to attend only on Sunday and will call the authorities if he arrives on church grounds at any other time (because he harasses the members). This man has no history of physical violence and a long history of control and verbal abuse (on his part).

My Plan of Action:
1. Take this man to lunch regularly. The “right thing to do” here does not change based on my desire to or not to do it. I am to minister to him as a brother in Christ, bear his burdens, and to speak the truth to him in love. Hopefully, a venue for him to vent and interact with someone will result in less verbal outburst in more formal settings.

2. Protect my people. While I know that the Lord can speak through anyone, and I take this man’s opinions as possibly the voice of God to me today, I must ensure that the other men in the sutdy are still able to have a spirit of worship and the wisdom to study; that is, this man’s noise level cannot be allowed to derail the entire group. I will be more formal and intentional about my approach to the study so that he is not singled out.

3. Ask for help. I am not a certified counselor (and if I were he wouldn’t talk to me), I am just a man. I have asked our pastor who has a Master’s Degree in Counseling (Psychology not Psychiatry) for guidance and input.

Summary:
I know the Lord spoke to me through this man today and that I must help him. It is amazing to me the opportunities we each have – every day – to build our faith and to take our strength from – and place our trust in – the Lord.

Several of the things that the Lord could have said through this man today:
A. Ron, you are too full of yourself in this study. Please empty the vessel and fill it again with Me, and then continue.
B. Ron, your preparation for this study was inadequate and you need to be more prayerful and spend more time in preparing materials and your heart for Me.
C. Ron, studying the Word as a whole is a better approach than approaching individual topics.
D. Ron, your Men’s Ministry is not reaching all the men in the church today and a change in methods (broader approach) is needed.
E. Ron, you are not serving those men that take you out of your comfort zone. Here is one, I’ve been gracious to you, be gracious to him.

and so on…

Fascinating stuff!

Thoughts?

Ron