Window or Mirror?

Not often does a movie come along that I enjoy. Rarer still, a movie that I respect. Still harder to find, a movie that I enjoy, respect, and that I am emotionally caught up in and learn something from. Fireproof is one of these rare movies. In fact, it may stand alone in its own category.

This movie tells a story about a man – Caleb Holt – whose marriage is now coming on hard times. It’s coming onto hard times because neither he nor his wife have learned how to love unselfishly. Their reaction is to end the marriage, rather than fight for it. The main character’s father steps in and asks his son to go on a 40-day “love dare” journey, treating his wife the way a wife should be treated, regardless her ‘worthiness’ to accept that love and care. The journey takes some tough twists and turns, and the results are – to him – unexpected and will change his life forever.

This film is unapologetically Christian. It states that to give love, you must first understand love, and you must have it. This true love can only come from Christ and it is only this love that lasts forever, is wholly unselfish, and the only love strong enough to hold even when the other person is ‘undeserving’. There are so many layers to this film it is difficult to discuss them all, but male pornography issues, older male and female mentoring, Christian friends, influence of parents in the life, Christian witness, and counseling are all touched on and dealt with in reasonable and approachable terms.

Why did I enjoy this movie so much? Well, because I am Caleb Holt. I don’t mean that I am a firefighter and that the movie was modeled after my life, I mean that I acted as Caleb acted, and my life came to the same crossroads as his did. In fact, I acted far worse than Caleb did, for a longer period of time, was far more addicted to pornography, and this with three children in the house. My crossroad was an offramp on a freeway, not a fork in the road.

After a 2-hour struggle on my knees with the Lord (which I lost and He won), I came out of that dark place and began to treat my wife with the love that I am called to show, even though she had nothing to return. I did this after she left the house with the children, and in God’s grace, He loved her back into our marriage. I didn’t have a 40-day plan, but I knew that my approach to life had been – to this point – completely unsuccessful. I had things, and money, but nothing that mattered, and I wasn’t walking with my Lord. I decided that, even if He did not return my family to me, that I would walk with Him because I was inqdequate on my own. I would – finally – become part of the solution, and not the problem. I would help build God’s kingdom here on earth.

I don’t know where each of you are in your marriages, but I can guarantee that there are pieces of Caleb and Catherine in each of us. For the married, I urge you to watch this movie with your spouse. For single men, I urge you to watch this movie and see the positive effect that Christian friends can have on a man, and the devastating effects of pornography on a woman’s heart. Single women, watch this movie and learn not to gossip, or to exacerbate your friends marriage difficulties with a sharp tongue.

If your marriage has had struggles and you watch this movie with your spouse, watch the matinee and set aside the entire evening for healing and talking. This movie is one of the very few that can change your life if you let it. If you are willing to go ‘all the way’ and let the Lord into your heart as well, this movie won’t just change your life, it will be responsible for leading you to the One that saved it.

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